Today, my girlfriend's new favorite TV show is Law and Order SVU. Now after every episode she insists on asking me if I'm sure I wasn't molested as a kid. She's still on the first season. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter cried for ages after finding out that Nick Amaro was written out of Law and Order: SVU. She barely reacted when I told her that her mom and I are getting a divorce. FML
Today, thanks to my wife, our 11 year-old daughter is completely obsessed with serial killers, cults, and true crime. My wife thinks it’s funny and harmless; meanwhile I’m legitimately worried about our child’s mental health. FML
Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I'm now afraid to argue with her. FML
Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML
Today, my girlfriend watched my favorite show for the first time and was really crazy about this one character. She said she wanted a man like him. The man of my girlfriend's dreams is a fictional gay guy who robs drug dealers. FML
Today, I introduced my friend to a show I really like. I told her that I’m only halfway through the second season, but she should check it out. Since she’s on leave from work, she decided to binge watch every available episode, then text me multiple spoilers. FML
Today, thanks to too many true crime podcasts and shows, my wife has lost her marbles. She now insists we use code names for our kids while out in public, so that no predators will hear their real names and follow us home to kidnap them. She’s completely serious. FML
Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML
Today, and ever since my girlfriend and I watched the movie Obsession, she now thinks it's funny to watch me sleep, screams "STAAAAY!!" whenever I move when we're cuddling, and stands still by the door with a giant smile whenever I come home. FML
Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
EvilPotato 15
Next season she'll be asking if you were raped as a child.
k_ninjaa 9
that's irritating
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (92)
crazyluvbug 8
Omg do not get Netflix then. She will never stop watching it and I've watched a shit ton of them...some crazy shit happens in that show. She will get to where he's accusing you of everything....rape, lying, cheating, getting someone pregnant, murder, pedophilia, being gay, or even being transgender. I'm on season 9 and I'm still not done. I can only do so much of that show. :) so yeah good luck with that.
grumpygills23 6
Hahahahahaha
olpally 33
It's a good show... But seriously?? Lol... Your girlfriend has already been brainwashed by that show... Slowly walk out of the room just before the show ends and make sure you're not around when she asks that stupid question...
gc327072 31
What if she calls him though? And left a bunch of redundant voicemails...... D:
olpally 33
A simple text or phone call should do the trick, while saying "no" repeatedly a hundred times... Lol.
bridgetv25 8
Exaggerate much
echosaints 5
When did this shit turn into a therapy session?
CuriousAlien 7
Well i partially know how you feel my Mom's obsessed with Leverage and House; and she gets all disappointed when there no team of people that take revenge or solve crimes, or a genius doctor that saves lives, :)
BobbieH 19
Only 13 more seasons of molestation questions left! Sorry OP.
PedroTall 0
Can't wait till she gets to the second season
Posthuman 26
Use it to your advantage and incorporate it into the bedroom! :D wait...that might not be a smart idea...
blanccamaro74 6
Tell no but if she would like to molest u that would be fine