Today, my girlfriend's new favorite TV show is Law and Order SVU. Now after every episode she insists on asking me if I'm sure I wasn't molested as a kid. She's still on the first season. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter cried for ages after finding out that Nick Amaro was written out of Law and Order: SVU. She barely reacted when I told her that her mom and I are getting a divorce. FML
Today, thanks to my wife, our 11 year-old daughter is completely obsessed with serial killers, cults, and true crime. My wife thinks it’s funny and harmless; meanwhile I’m legitimately worried about our child’s mental health. FML
Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I'm now afraid to argue with her. FML
Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML
Today, my girlfriend watched my favorite show for the first time and was really crazy about this one character. She said she wanted a man like him. The man of my girlfriend's dreams is a fictional gay guy who robs drug dealers. FML
Today, I introduced my friend to a show I really like. I told her that I’m only halfway through the second season, but she should check it out. Since she’s on leave from work, she decided to binge watch every available episode, then text me multiple spoilers. FML
Today, thanks to too many true crime podcasts and shows, my wife has lost her marbles. She now insists we use code names for our kids while out in public, so that no predators will hear their real names and follow us home to kidnap them. She’s completely serious. FML
Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML
Today, and ever since my girlfriend and I watched the movie Obsession, she now thinks it's funny to watch me sleep, screams "STAAAAY!!" whenever I move when we're cuddling, and stands still by the door with a giant smile whenever I come home. FML
Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML
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Top comments
EvilPotato 15
Next season she'll be asking if you were raped as a child.
k_ninjaa 9
that's irritating
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Comments (92)
rocketiquette 20
She's a little behind on prime time tv, eh? First season? There's like 7382737;7,!/' &:!,!:&@sjdjjejdckaioqmrhcoos episodes... Have fun. God forbid she watches MTV and asks if you're a guido.
agonydrum 7
Way too many
rocketiquette 20
SVU is pretty legit though, but the ones with Elliot are the best
agonydrum 7
I used to watch it but they model every episode off of the same couple of formulas after awhile it's just predictable and kind of depressing
zen1979 16
Well her concern is just, *puts on sunglasses* touching....YYEEEAAAAHHH!!!
agonydrum 7
Law and order sucks, break up with her for making bad decisions and see if she has a sister or something
mfischer 17
This is quite possibly the worst 'break up with them' comment that I've ever seen.
amandajlucas2015 2
I thumbed u down hoping to get enough thumb downs to hide ur comment so I wouldn't have to read it.. That's how stupid it is
amandajlucas2015 2
Haha and it worked yay!
agonydrum 7
#41...yes I do
etoilenuit 15
...eek
SavannahJanee 6
Theres 12 seasons..
echosaints 5
Actually, there are 14 seasons.....
if2013 10
actually, theres only 13 seasons. because season 14 only has 3 episodes
DocBastard 40
Yeah, well people ask me all the time if I'm "House". **** you, House. **** you.
Dracoboxer357 36
^ I'd never ask you that, Doc.....you aren't half as charming! ;D *Hides!*
Trisha_aus 15
You're are a little bit like Cox too
DocBastard 40
Trisha, you're lucky I didn't (can't) have Siri read your comment out loud. It would sound a little different than what you meant.
TellMeWhatsDeath 14
Get her to start watching Doctor Who :P
mvc3ftw 17
Tell her to switch over to criminal minds
HungerGames95 13
I LOVE THAT SHOW!!!
laurenlovesjb 20
Wow I used to watch that show when I was little... I'm sure it's scarred me! I'm paranoid about rapists!:0
DocBastard 40
When you were little? You're all of 14. So...last year? I kid, I kid.
thezeke74 6
Have you asked her the same question? This may be a passive aggressive way to start a conversation.