Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML
Today, I found out that just because my roommate doesn't buy alcohol, it doesn't mean she isn't stealing mine and slowly replacing it with water. That bottle cost me $150 and was destined to be a present for my best friend, whom I haven't seen in years. FML
Today, I found out my credit card was maxed out to the penny, all thanks to purchases made on an online wine store. Apparently my mother was thirsty enough to steal from her own son. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML
Today, I came home from a nine-hour shift and all I want is to sit down with a glass of Baileys. I can't find the key to the liquor cabinet. FML
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Top comments
superswagbro 7
What a bitch.
Futacy 30
"Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! EVERYBODY!!!"
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Comments (84)
fudgeimout 2
We now know who the alcoholic in the family is and that she has an expensive taste.
CanCann 16
Time to put a lock on it
granpa_haribo 13
Buy another bottle and replace its contents with soap water, salt water, 98% alcohol or something of the sort.
mariebc123 7
That's when you call 1800-choke-a-hoe
rairai 14
Why would you want to re-invite a thief in to your home? Motherinlaw or not, I would've really called her out and banned her from my house out of pure principle. If you have that little respect of other peoples properties you don't deserve better.
Smashhoof 15
35 The meme is the socially awesome penguin. Being a penguin is pretty socially awesome.
janah_fml 5
hahaha! she was clearly in dire need of something to drink. maybe she cant afford to pay for her water bill.
farkie3 8
52 - 35's picture is entirely correct. The line "20% cooler" is an actual Rainbow Dash quote, which has achieved full meme status. If you don't get the reference, it may be best to say nothing at all, my friend.
Federgirl 19
omg I'd have been so mad!