Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML
Today, I found out that just because my roommate doesn't buy alcohol, it doesn't mean she isn't stealing mine and slowly replacing it with water. That bottle cost me $150 and was destined to be a present for my best friend, whom I haven't seen in years. FML
Today, I found out my credit card was maxed out to the penny, all thanks to purchases made on an online wine store. Apparently my mother was thirsty enough to steal from her own son. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML
Today, I came home from a nine-hour shift and all I want is to sit down with a glass of Baileys. I can't find the key to the liquor cabinet. FML
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Top comments
superswagbro 7
What a bitch.
Futacy 30
"Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! EVERYBODY!!!"
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Comments (84)
skyeyez9 25
Lock all the booze up next time. Sad that you have to do that but its required.
Nbrandwine 7
Just for note, your profile picture is incorrect for the usage of the meme.
Tamz13 2
You don't say wether you have spoken to either of them about this. Is it possible your girlfriend gave them to her mom & planned to replace them later? I only ask because I've done this sort of thing with my mom, because she has terrible taste in alcohol & I don't always have time to go to the store right then to find something decent for her.
gregkingsley 4
Time to get a liquor cabinet that locks dude. Otherwise you need to call the law and that might piss off your old lady if u do that.
noisebox 1
You would need a drink after the mother in law comes especially when she steals, sounds like she's an alcoholic. Better hope it doesn t become a case of 'like mother like daughter'.
smurfsarwales 9
**** me have the bronies found FML now as well?
Epikouros 32
The butler did it.
souljacker 11
Next time leave a decoy filled with something unpleasant. :-)
Pels 3
Good for her! Solves your drinking problem.
skulekiller 8
Time to go hunting