Today, I came home from a nine-hour shift and all I want is to sit down with a glass of Baileys. I can't find the key to the liquor cabinet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML
Today, my drinking habit hit a new low when I waited almost an hour to go to the liquor store after it opened because I didn't want to seem desperate. FML
Today, I opened my fridge. It's entire contents: half a takeaway meal and 4 bottles of wine. FML
Today, it has got to the point that I don't even have to ask for my booze in the local off-licence, they just hand me my bottle. FML
Today, I found myself sitting in the bathroom at work searching the internet for the alcohol and caloric content of cool mint Listerine. I now believe that I may have a problem. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I wanted to go clubbing with my friends. I started drinking at home to save on the price of drinks, instead I fell asleep on my couch. FML
Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML
Today, I woke up extremely hungover. I couldn't find my car keys so I went out to my car to see if I had locked them inside. I walked back to the door of my apartment barefoot and empty handed, only to find that I had locked myself out of the apartment. FML
Today, I noticed I have more alcohol in my fridge than I do actual food. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
That's what an axe is for. Not only will you get your drink, you'll also have a great story for your next AA meeting.
ahabsfan 17
Check with the kids. They probably have it.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
That's what an axe is for. Not only will you get your drink, you'll also have a great story for your next AA meeting.
ahabsfan 17
Check with the kids. They probably have it.
samsonity 5
Ever hear of a crowbar