Today, my girlfriend of one month and I had an amazing night of dinner and dancing, but when I leaned in to kiss her, she said, "You're joking right?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I were making fun of a photo album on Facebook containing pictures of two friends who just got engaged. I jokingly asked her to marry me. She said yes. We have been dating for two months. She's not in on the joke. FML
Today, someone asked my fiancée and I how we met. She said, "Well, it was just supposed to be a one night stand!" and laughed, right as I was about to take her hand and say, "It was love at first sight!" FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML
Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML
Today, I planned to propose to my girlfriend in front of her family at dinner. I had the ring ready and got down on one knee. She immediately burst into laughter and said, "Are you kidding?" The family stared in silence, and I quickly realised she was just teasing me... until I stood up and knocked over an entire table of drinks. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said, "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She got incredibly excited and started flapping her hands around. Then she suddenly went deadpan and said, "But seriously… No." FML
Today, I surprised my girlfriend with flowers and dinner reservations for our one-year anniversary. She looked confused and said, “Wait, we’re counting from the first time we hung out?” It turns out she thought we were still “just talking.” She also has a boyfriend. It’s not me. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend for a kiss, and in response, she suggested that we settle for a hand hug. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
Speech_fml 0
Yeah, get out of there. Even if she isn't using you, "You're joking right?" isn't the response she should have to you trying to kiss her after a month of dating and a wonderful night. "Boyfriends kissing their girlfriends at the end of a date? Why that's preposterous!"
bobdole 0
If she isn't SUPER religious, then dump her, because she is just using you. If she is super religious, keep waiting if you really like her.
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Comments (43)
miamiheat244 0
Ahhhhh what a bitch you should of been like "so you dont like to kiss guys you ******* lesbo"
kayleighcontrol 7
You haven't even kissed after a month. FYL.
imanidiot2 0
uh wow. prude bitch.
amyrenee2413 0
I think you need to find someone who respects you... because its obvious she doesnt after this :)
xxxviii 5
LOL,,#1, shes not ur GF. #2 apparently it wasnt THAT amazing of an evening and #3 Go find someone that puts out! If you pay for a month and ur not getting any then its wayyyyyyyyy past time for you to be movong on.
88sforlife 0
Lmao She Sounds Great
ecascio2010 9
umm sounds like you aren't bf and gf.... sorry.
Dewet09 0
are you sure she knows your her boyfriend?
ilove80smetal 8
Reflect. Maybe you did something to tick her off?
SkoomaKi 28
Wow, that's taking things very slow. Even after 1 month?! Frigid.