Today, my girlfriend of one month and I had an amazing night of dinner and dancing, but when I leaned in to kiss her, she said, "You're joking right?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I were making fun of a photo album on Facebook containing pictures of two friends who just got engaged. I jokingly asked her to marry me. She said yes. We have been dating for two months. She's not in on the joke. FML
Today, someone asked my fiancée and I how we met. She said, "Well, it was just supposed to be a one night stand!" and laughed, right as I was about to take her hand and say, "It was love at first sight!" FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML
Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML
Today, I planned to propose to my girlfriend in front of her family at dinner. I had the ring ready and got down on one knee. She immediately burst into laughter and said, "Are you kidding?" The family stared in silence, and I quickly realised she was just teasing me... until I stood up and knocked over an entire table of drinks. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said, "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She got incredibly excited and started flapping her hands around. Then she suddenly went deadpan and said, "But seriously… No." FML
Today, I surprised my girlfriend with flowers and dinner reservations for our one-year anniversary. She looked confused and said, “Wait, we’re counting from the first time we hung out?” It turns out she thought we were still “just talking.” She also has a boyfriend. It’s not me. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend for a kiss, and in response, she suggested that we settle for a hand hug. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
Speech_fml 0
Yeah, get out of there. Even if she isn't using you, "You're joking right?" isn't the response she should have to you trying to kiss her after a month of dating and a wonderful night. "Boyfriends kissing their girlfriends at the end of a date? Why that's preposterous!"
bobdole 0
If she isn't SUPER religious, then dump her, because she is just using you. If she is super religious, keep waiting if you really like her.
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Comments (43)
sammySamantha 0
I guess she wasn't ready for that yet i suggest give her more time?
lmaouloser 5
Friend zoned
Orchard 33
Sounds to me like the OP thinks they are dating, and the girl didn't bother to correct his assumption. One of three things has happened here : 1. two slow-on-the-uptake people here on the wrong page, 2. the girl was using the OP, 3. she thought OP understood they weren't dating while he thought they were.
Headcrab 29
I don't get the American/Canadian way of dating. How can. you classify someone as your girlfriend when you haven't even kissed yet? You date, fall in love, kiss. THEN and only then should I consider a girl my girlfriend.
doglover100 29
Are you really dating?
Andicc 19
Well, no where in the FML does it say they have NEVER kissed, just that night. I think we need more details on this from the author...if they have been kissing throughout the month, then maybe his breath was nasty that night, or if they have never kissed this whole month, then she wasn't your girlfriend.
md101 18
Are you sure she's your "girlfriend" if she's acting that way?
tournamentdecide 33
Maybe she had a cold sore.
fantasyworld 39
Maybe she isn't ready.
trumpet27 1
who would turn down a kiss in an environment like that? Good luck. ?