Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML
Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML
Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML
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Top comments
jamalamadingdong 18
Maybe the nutcracker suite would have been more appropriate?
moonboobs 4
Jingle balls?
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Comments (121)
equin0xx 6
...Effectively changing "Jingle Bells" to "tingle balls."
funny_but_sad 4
Don't ya mean in time of Jingle BALLS!?!?! Hahahahahaha—no? Ok.
aw3som3sauc3 10
No, not ok...
firethief21 4
handjobs are awsome when your not the one doing it to yourself, be happy to have recieved one
ahabsfan 17
She is a true ball breaker.
LaLince 40
lmfao
chrissy2 28
But you let her keep going anyway... #boyproblems
redmane 21
Hash tags don't work here.
chrissy2 28
Worth a shot...
BoratSagdiyev 2
I'm confused. Was her mouth broken?
SillyGirl4602 23
I hope you did not want to have kids op. fyl
Derpylicious 3
Why are you with someone who would do that to you?
chrissy2 28
Maybe she's really into Christmas and gives really bad hand jobs, but has a great personality!
pdp_fml 21
Did she give you a "happy ending" at least?
aw3som3sauc3 10
There is no possible outcome for him that would end with him being happy...
buckdharma 38
Jingle bells, nuts will swell. I think I broke two eggs Oh how dumb it was to hide, the texts I found today, heh...