PlayTag
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
bootyislife
Lynnwood, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Hidden
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Janitoro
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Double-edged sword
Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML
hitintheeye
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
TeeJay
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML
whattheheck
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Winnipeg, Canada
You what?
Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Miscommunication
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
ihatejasonderulo
Hounslow, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Careless Whisper
Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML
Anonymous
Fitzroy, Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Boomer humor
Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML
noname
France 🌶️ Spicy
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Top comments
O_0 0
If i where you at this point i would practice...give her an amazing ****** and then stop having sex with her.
Dr_Phil 0
Dude you need to dump her. I'm picking up a ****-vibe from her. She's going to eventually cheat on you.
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Comments (48)
blastofpast 0
ouch lol
randomchick1901 0
that's cold. lol
17Master 0
Counter with: "Just like you, it doesn't do any of the work. However, unlike you, it doesn't bitch." Then dump her.
Pearson_fml 0
What you didn't know, is that shortly after that, your girlfriend said now that you had something to take up your time, there would be more time for me to do her.
Projectdenided 0
lol, if she thinks you suck then find a bitch that is mad ugly and practice on her and tell your gf you thouht it was the blow up doll ^_^
deannababy 0
hahahahaahhahahahah
writerajere 0
You should tell her that she's practice and you're breaking up with her because there's nothing to learn from some one who just lays there.
romethebest 0
lol
genius_man16 1
All these people have the right idea: Dump the bitch.
commonsensex 0
That was really bitchy of her.