Today, I texted my friend, asking if he could give me a ride. He assumed I meant sex, and told me I need to respect boundaries. I actually needed a ride to the hospital for a concussion. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm in hospital after a bad accident. An old friend of mine came to my ward, looked around, and asked if I needed any help. I asked him to stay and talk a bit, because we haven't seen each other since his wedding. He said, "Nah bro, I gotta go, or my wife will kill me. We're planning a sex night, by the way", and left. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch and my boyfriend thought it would be cute to carry me to bed. He knocked my head on the door frame and I pretended it didn't hurt because he felt so bad, but I shouldn't have. I was rushed to the hospital hours later with a concussion. FML
Today, a friend who I hadn't seen in a while offered to give me a ride. I didn't really know how to give directions to my house, so when we had been driving for a while and it was getting awkward, I just pointed at a random house and pretended to live there. FML
Today, I refused to ride with a friend on a motorcycle because it is unsafe and went to take the bus. As I got off the bus, I got hit by a speeding motorcycle and ended up in hospital. FML
Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML
Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML
Today, I was released from hospital after being in a car accident. I used the phone book to call people I know to get a ride home, as my wallet and cellphone were still in the wrecked car. I had called my mom to come get me, but her response was "I don't feel like it." I live with her. FML
Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML
Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML
Today, my boyfriend was at my house to hang out. When he was leaving I thought it would be cute to run and jump on him to say goodbye. He fell and hit his head. He is now in the hospital with a concussion. FML
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Top comments
Ainarr 29
I’ve never heard of anyone assuming sex when someone asks “can I get a ride”??? weird anyways op i hope you’re okay and you got your ride!
FireMars 14
I think what they said was clear enough tbh I mean who mistakes asking for a ride for asking for sex; any normal person would know they were asking for a lift somewhere.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
So you like your sex rough, I assume?
genuinegoodguy 9
Maybe use a few more words and achieve clarity.
FireMars 14
I think what they said was clear enough tbh I mean who mistakes asking for a ride for asking for sex; any normal person would know they were asking for a lift somewhere.
Ainarr 29
I’ve never heard of anyone assuming sex when someone asks “can I get a ride”??? weird anyways op i hope you’re okay and you got your ride!
ojoRojo 27
If his mind goes straight to sex when someone asks for a ride, he needs to check himself
Roxy Rousseau 11
Or he has a past with OO and that was their “code”. Not at all talking from experience...
831curmudgeon 7
You also need better friends.