Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, My girlfriend came from behind me and put her hand in my back pockets. I though it was someone trying to take my wallet, I elbowed her in the nose and broke it. FML
Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML
Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when she began skipping ahead of me and out in to the street. I saw a car coming right at her so I tackled her to the ground to save her. Turns out the car was stopping and was never going to hit her, and my girlfriend doesn't appreciate concussions. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
RileyL29 0
You confused your girlfriend who a male capable of knocking you unconscious?
TylerX 0
He liked it ;D
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Comments (162)
TylerX 0
He liked it ;D
sara117 0
oh yes he did haha
dolphincheddar 10
lesson learned. don't grab chuck norris' butt
yummycupkake 0
he only knocked you unconscious cause he knew you wouldn't approve of the things he'd do to you if you were concioue ;)
musiclexii124 0
I see you aren't totally unconscious because you remember this…
yummycupkake 0
*conscious
codyjeffers97 0
how did he accidentally nock you out?
TylerX 0
27- read it again.
KingGeorgeGal 12
The real FML would be if you actually liked it.
itsmeyippie 0
27 it says " the guys butt I grabbed accidentally" then "knocked me out" I may not have copied it exactly right but it means... and I was confused about that too at first
daBeast155 0
does your girl also beat you in wrestling?
soccersgr8 6
yeah he wanted more but got a bit too excited
yummycupkake 0
37, probably but he deserves it for sending txts on his sisters phone saying she has chlamydia
XXscenekidXX209 0
lol XD
The_Weirdo 10
If you want payback against that guy, give him a little spanking next time.
talensledge1 0
Your comment made me laugh a little bit.
pertained 12
gay test, LOL.
MfailK 0
should have said no **** and all would have ended well
MrFlintstone 5
was he wearing the same clothes are something WTF
tootsie5790 0
Wow Ur GF Either Has A Man Butt Or The Mans Butt U Grabbed Had A Female Butt
thetrollyoulike 6
have fun explaining that...
JesusFishTaco 5
"Dude, I'm sorry. You just totally look like my girlfriend." *knocked unconscious again*
itsmeyippie 0
since he grabbed the guys butt thinking it was his girlfriends, is the man girly or is the girl masculine but he got knocked out.....
coolp3rson 0
this is made up because I read another one of your storys and you said you were had a boyfriend
NuTrees 9
Yes the. smokey ran up like 'you just got knocked the **** out'!
calebobadiah 0
really? today some quire grabbed my butt today, so I knocked him unconscious.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Queer*.... quire isn't even close to a word.
katialovesfml 0
oh behave
lukehappygilmore 4
I would've turned around and showed him my wiener. ask him if he would wanna grab that too
Garyy_fml 11
If your light switch is on for four hours or more, call an electrician
lukehappygilmore 4
lol
atthegates 0
ur gf must have a brutal looking ass...
kittykat1497 7
LOL that'll teach you not to be a pig
lukehappygilmore 4
all guys are pigs. get used to it lol
DeadxManxWalking 27
not in public at least
whiteboy7thst 2
if only I had bacon for every pig in the world
anotherNERD12560 0
it's kinda true
talensledge1 0
Oink.
EmyB_fml 8
hey, at least he admits it, right ?
lukehappygilmore 4
why'd my comment get moderated? all I said was that all guys were pigs
sethr_di 15
who really cares as long as she WOULD (?)have been ok with it, no harm, no foul
RileyL29 0
You confused your girlfriend who a male capable of knocking you unconscious?
docscientist 10
It's called a Freudian Squeeze.
fluorescentadole_fml 8
haha I applaud you both!
funktown 2
LOL u deserved it bro
NHLbound22 8
am I the only one who realizes that his girlfriend looks like a guy? that a pretty bad mistake
xxsarahfxx 6
Or the guy looks like a girl. :)
iloveWAR 0
or both
YayFlameWarz 9
"Dude looks like a lady!"
ArielTheMermaid 17
Yeah man, you've got bigger problems if you mistook a guy for your girlfriend.....
raymel 5
lol lesson learned? :p
spartans916 1
haha. dumbass
Lauren10102 3
it's funny how the word "dumbass" applies sooo well
AnotherRandomPer 0
wow... dont drop the soap
Renesaga 8
He's not going to prison for grabbing a guy's butt, dumbass.
CryMoreFMLs 15
I've seen 2 comments from you and I already hate you.