Today, My girlfriend came from behind me and put her hand in my back pockets. I though it was someone trying to take my wallet, I elbowed her in the nose and broke it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML
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Top comments
JustAGirl_fml 0
F HER life, not yours.
magnusip 0
damn. talking bout fast reaction.
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Comments (43)
greenman_fml 0
that's what she gets for steppin to you like that. how dare she surprise you
d00d_c0m3_0n 0
Dear number 20, I always think that "greenman" leaves horrible comments, but he can say what he wants. He will just have more enemies than friends with the things he says. And besides, that was a really sad attempt at an insult...
thinkpink 0
ha something like this happened to me. I was bored waiting for my boyfriend and i to leave his house and go somewhere and i hid next to his fridge in the kitchen where he couldn't see me and when he walked in the kitchen and goes Babe??? I go BOOO!! and he whipped around with his fist out and caught me in the mouth. His reasoning was good though--he grew up with two brothers and a rowdy dad who always pulled pranks on each other. Whooops!! I learned from that one ha.
Stephen_fml 0
it was the right thing to do. your girlfriend should've known you had cat-like reflexes
FriedChicken 0
ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING MY ASS OFF AT #25. Yeah, FHL.
pizzle 0
lmfao at #20 and #25... oh man...
TheOrpheus 0
not your fault. gotta protect your stuff. she should have at least said your name or something just loud enough for you to hear it before she did it. That way you could differentiate between her and everyone else.
wasabipeas 0
this is so confusing... were you in a crowded bar? a particularly perilous sector of south philly? or did you think someone was trying to take your wallet while you were standing in your own kitchen? the whole fuckability of your life right now depends on your location at the time.
IamSpartacus 0
Wow you must feel like an idiot.
StephC_fml 0
As cute as she was trying to be it probably wasn't the smartest thing to do. It's unfortunate that it happened, but it's a natural reaction. Don't feel too bad about it.