Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom, demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a goddamn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML
Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML
Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML
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Top comments
sthrr 6
and she didn't feel the need to hang up? Ew..
crystal_james 0
The fact that your mom was listening to you have phone sex is pretty disturbing. But YDI for using the home phone...
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Comments (114)
diabian 9
give my number to your mama !
mightymart 5
uuh ur mom is kindda creepy... why the hell did she keep listening?!
TempestRain 0
Ok. Your mom is obviously demented. That is so gross. I'd talk to my dad about it and get the fudge out of that house! She has probably also been peeking at you taking showers, smelling your underwear, and fondling you while you sleep. Ruuuuun! lol. ;)
califbob 3
your mom is a freak like that! what's her number?
Hanimon 0
lol that's what I was thinking
blahblahblah5_x 13
This is why you get something called mo-biles. P.S Your mum's a creep, I say dis-own her.
Roxxay 6
that's disturbing. isn't this is already incest? I mean was she turned on or why was she listening THAT long?? ewww. sorry, OP, that's really a FYL
KingAbe88 12
who the hell has phone sex these days.
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
yeah seriously.
gusgus36 5
other line? you deserve it for having had phone sex on a land line that is shared by the whole house. assuming that's the case because I don't think "other line" could mean cell phones at all
ScreamoGirl84 0
I bet you my mom would do that! Ugh, such a stalker.