Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked why, she replied with "You don't go out anymore. All you do is lay in bed." I've had the flu for the past week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my birthday. I spent all day in bed, sick with the flu. My boyfriend then broke up with me by text, because he didn't want to risk getting sick by doing it in person. FML
Today, I got the flu. Feeling really sick and depressed, I called my boyfriend to get some comfort. When he didn't answer his phone, I called his house, only to hear his mother telling me, "He was so sad that you guys broke up." I didn't know. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while I had a fever from a stomach virus. I was shivering with cold sweats while she explained there was nothing wrong with our relationship, but she would regret not giving her cheating ex a second chance. FML
Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML
Today, I've been bedridden with the flu for two weeks. My boyfriend only got concerned because I haven't done any laundry, and was worried about what the girls at the coffee shop across from work would think if he turned up wearing the same clothes two days in a row. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I didn't call her in the last few days. I tried to explain to her that I was out at my grandfather's house in a remote place with no cell service to stand by him on his death bed. She thought I was making excuses and called me a lying bastard. FML
Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML
Today, I went to see my girlfriend to talk about my anxiety, because it's been a big issue. She broke up with me instead. FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML
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Top comments
mangocherrypie 0
Don't worry, I've been sick for a week as well and my boyfriend started telling me "I'm faking it". Sure, when only codeine works for my bleeding sore throat, it must be that I'm faking. I took matters into my own hands and cleaned the toilet with his toothbrush. It won't make him more compassionate but I think it will keep me from slapping him.
perdix 31
Funny, you don't look fluish.
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Comments (57)
FerrariCake 2
What she really meant was "There's no reason for us to stay in a relationship, since you have proven yourself genetically inferior to most other men by being so incapacitated by a simple influenza virus that you have to remain in bed for an entire week. I do not want to take any further risk of you impregnating me and thereby condemning my progeny to have an immune system as fragile as yours." She just had trouble expressing herself in so many words.
BritishHobo 0
You are either alexFYL's ex-boyfriend, the pissed off ex-boyfriend of some other girl who upset you, or just a very angry person with a lot of free time. Like me.
BikerMike 0
she is a ****
grim0925 0
u should of called her over, sneezed in her face, then squealed like a pig. she would get the message
kinger09 0
you should have invited her to bed with you
blastvortex 4
Um, you're actually unhappy that your needy, whiny, self-absorbed, self-obsessed princess of a girlfriend broke up with you? I would rejoice. Now you don't have to be the one to dump her. That's awesome.
Ninjaface 0
At least you know what to give her for her breakup present. ;)
blland 0
#36 - i know right, at first i thought it was from lipsum.com
feed_the_ducks 0
FYL, though it looks like she had been looking for a reason to break up with you.
MouseyN 0
Your life is less effed without her.