Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend offered to wash the bathroom while I was at work. I came back home to find her feeling unwell with a bad headache. She had mixed drain cleaner with bleach because she thought it would make the bathroom cleaner. Now my entire house is a mini gas chamber. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML
Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML
Today, I was driving with my boss and she held her breath as we drove past a cell tower, because she didn't want to "breathe in any radiation." I have to take orders from this moron. FML
Today, I had to drive my girlfriend to the hospital because she had a severe allergic reaction to the flowers I brought her. FML
Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML
Today, while I was working in the drive-through at work, a lady was wearing kitchen oven-mitts and a snorkeling mask instead of gloves and a mask to pick up her prescription. FML
Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML
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Top comments
delyter 0
no offense but ur gf may be a retard
jmrtheman 3
I hope your gf is hella hot to make up how dumb she is.
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Comments (198)
purplepenguine 0
Constipation; diarrhea; dizziness; drowsiness; headache; muscle aches; nausea; pain, swelling, or redness at the injection site; stomach upset; vomiting. these are just some of the common effects u dont even wanna see the server ones. have fun in the next few days op :)
docscientist 10
You don't even need in-depth knowledge of radioactivity to know a leak at a nuclear plant will have any negative effect over here. If the two nuclear bombs in WWII had negligible effect here, then a leaky nuclear reactor is harmless here. Your girlfriend deserves it for watching Fox news and being caught up in the scare tactics.
docscientist 10
*will not
Snerdatron 0
I thought it was Potassium Iodide? Maybe she is retarded.
Sharpiesgirl 1
okay, there are people trying to go in and prevent that from happening, and it's because of people like you ******* moronic girlfriend that they can't, the potassium iodide that these people need are now on back order because too many dumb bitches are ordering it, tell her to go return them or send em to china where the people there actually need them. oh by the way..tell her to put on her gasmask because there's oxygen in the air and it might kill her ******* moron
portablecupid 3
...china?
something224 6
God I hate stupid people.
KylesGirl52 0
Um have you ever heard of stupid? 1. U.S,we are way to far away. 2. They said iodine pills don't work. and 3. A gas mask, will not stop radiation from penetrating the body. Der-Da-Der.
beaker38 5
you should be angry that your retarded friend didn't buy you a gas mask
daisy193 0
jeezus think about the people in REAL danger.
menm0i 0
Woah what a retard and inconsiderate loser. Iodine supplies are in demand for people who acturally need them!! duh!
portablecupid 3
congratulations, youre dating a self-centered bitch. it takes a really special kind of person to see a tragedy unfold in another country and immediately worry about yourself, despite being hundreds of miles away and completely safe. tell her to donate that shit to japan.