Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend offered to wash the bathroom while I was at work. I came back home to find her feeling unwell with a bad headache. She had mixed drain cleaner with bleach because she thought it would make the bathroom cleaner. Now my entire house is a mini gas chamber. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML
Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML
Today, I was driving with my boss and she held her breath as we drove past a cell tower, because she didn't want to "breathe in any radiation." I have to take orders from this moron. FML
Today, I had to drive my girlfriend to the hospital because she had a severe allergic reaction to the flowers I brought her. FML
Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML
Today, while I was working in the drive-through at work, a lady was wearing kitchen oven-mitts and a snorkeling mask instead of gloves and a mask to pick up her prescription. FML
Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML
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Top comments
delyter 0
no offense but ur gf may be a retard
jmrtheman 3
I hope your gf is hella hot to make up how dumb she is.
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Comments (198)
denzell 6
can't be to safe hahahaha
sassyangel24 0
Wow, I hope she's hot cause she maybe retarded.
brookezee 2
end of relationship. lol
PoserDisposer 0
Your Japanese car built in 1995 is also radioactive. people seriously called car companies on that one.
SplotchyxDroneZ 7
YDI for going out with a dumb person
IndigoFuckYou 9
hahahahahah, my mom's doing that. We live in Texas, too.
havoc1331 0
woot, woot for Texas! XD
MisterGuru 5
it's gonna make it's way there sometime soon it's already reached parts of California
Tink4401_tx 0
LMFAO!!
Tink4401_tx 0
P.S all of you people saying it's possible: last time I heard, some of the gas could be drifting into Cali, that's pretty far from Texas so technically his girlfriend shouldn't have to worry. Well maybe he should worry a little when she starts practicing "Drop and Cover" drills. :P