Today, my mother-in-law tried to prove I was lying about my seafood allergy by adding minced prawns to the tomato sauce. In the last 24 hours, I have vomited and shit so much, plus the lost water weight from the sweating, I’ve lost almost 9lbs in body weight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I cooked for the future in-laws and was accused of trying to poison them. Absolutely no one told me, even as they watched me cook shrimp and smoked sausage gumbo, that my mother-in-law is deathly allergic to shellfish and my father-in-law gets severe diarrhoea when he eats pork. FML
Today, my mother-in-law invited herself to my house to cook lunch. I'm postpartum, depressed, and nursing a two-week old. She fed me four small shrimp and a handful of macaroni. This is what I'll be eating for a month. FML
Today, I’m at my hometown for the weekend and bought my entire family takeaway for lunch without knowing my mom had cooked. Later, after finding out, I promised to eat it for dinner. Guess who is having food poisoning but can’t shit. The cramps are killing me. FML
Today, my husband and I shared a chinese prawn dinner. I now have the most violent shits I’ve ever experienced in my life. He is completely fine and keeps rubbing it in my face by being able to eat his meals without throwing them up. FML
Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML
Today, I found out my mother-in-law is trying to force me to lose weight, even though I am trying, and have a medical condition. FML
Today my wife made something from ultra salty fish she bought, and it was horrible. It set off my sensitive bowels within minutes. Now 15 hours later I’ve just had my first dry fart. FML
Today, at my work in a self-service chinese restaurant, a lady came up to me, pointed to the plate she loaded with honey king prawns, and yelled at me because she was allergic to seafood. She demanded a refund and another plate. Everything is clearly labeled. FML
Today, I warned my husband not to eat the seafood he'd left on the counter. He insisted it was fine. He’s now been in the bathroom shitting, puking and wailing for three hours. Our place is tiny and the bathroom is attached to our bedroom. The door doesn’t keep out the noise or the rancid smell. FML
Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML
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Top comments
Ellimac21 14
Sue her. That's attempted murder... Allergies are no joke.
D J's MOM 17
you can actually file a police report. if that's not an option, then just stay away from her. you are now well within your rights to do so, seeing as she tried to kill you...
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
I guess her experiment was right about your so-called "allergy" and you just needed a good weight-loss regimen.
Ellimac21 14
Sue her. That's attempted murder... Allergies are no joke.
D J's MOM 17
you can actually file a police report. if that's not an option, then just stay away from her. you are now well within your rights to do so, seeing as she tried to kill you...
Sonotsuave 37
That’s extremely ****** up and uncalled for, I’d sue her or take some sort of legal action, or at the very least cut her out of my life
Crowned Sataness 12
that absolutely needs a police report. your partner needs to understand these needs to be handled
poopface82 25
That’s legally battery. Sue her ass, press charges and divorce her kid.
Zebediabolical 45
Best. Diet. Ever.