Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML
Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Tanya33 1
She is a genius. I'm going to use that.
rabiesss 0
Some love you guys have....
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (299)
vragr 0
this is full of win lmao!
chrstygrl06 10
Tell her now you can't have her kids and kick her to the curb!
paigeorpage1 0
WHAT THE FFFIN HE'LL? it was just a funny joke!! whyd he dump her over somthing so miner??
Tempuser117 2
minor*
ligerzero459 24
Kicking a guy in the balls is never a joke
titan87 0
Let me attach some balls to you and then I'll kick the shit out of them and we will see what's so funny.....
WereKitty27 1
Kicking a guy in the balls is one of the most hurtful things you can do to him. I'd personally prefer to be stabbed, or shot.
fthku 13
#99, are you a complete moron? Kicking a guy in the balls, as stated, is extremely hurtful, but that is not the main reason you should never do it (unless threatened). Kicking in the guy in the balls can cause serious, and permanent damage. Kicked hard enough (or even just moderately), men could: Throw up, pass out, get Hernia, testicular torsion, the ******** could rupture, permanently destroy sperm production cells (Which DEFINATELY happened to OP, since even just a slight hit causes this).. and many more. How very funny.
threer 30
OP is obviously lying about her kicking 'as hard as she could'. How would he know? He probably wants sympathy.
Awahso 25
hot
PeteyPablo12308 20
Perfect. Thanks for the idea op. Well actually the op's girlfriend.
TinyDude 10
Girls never did take losing lightly anyways.
ChantelRenaeee 0
that's just how we roll.(:
kittykat1497 7
they see us rolling they hatin'
TinyDude 10
Our balls needs some air D; stop doing that.
matt1990 0
GENIOUS IDEA: punch her in tha boob, once u guys get over tha..whatever u guys are doing.. console her. ur peaches hurt and her booby hurts. caress eachother. a win win situation! im a genious.
CitrusGirl 0
Boobs aren't that sensitive though.
deafeningsilence 8
You're not a genius it you can't even spell genius right. ;)
matt1990 0
and u cant become a grammar nazi until u go through puberty lil girl. go back to ur room and play with harry potter action figures.
ugliness 6
troll alert
angelpies 0
Might want to re-read your post.. thinking you made an error trying to look smart.
ShadyFTW1 0
Doesn't matter. You punch a girl anywhere it will hurt.
FThatLife001 0
@#46: ... and that's why he should kick her in the clit/pubic bone.
KEB13 4
serious! just deliver the same force right into her crotch
wisericky 12
love hurts.
juliaaalove 8
I guess that shows you not to argue with a woman :)
juntu 0
bite her tit
docscientist 10
Funny, but now you get anal from her. Those are the rules.
SilverStarr 7
Jupz, rules are rules.
cristy91 33
This rule always gets me >_< one day I'll learn...