Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
fuuuuuh
Santa Cruz, United States
Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML
AW
Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML
shattysituation
United States
Gross out competition
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
shroooms
Slovenia
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Anonymous
Today, I and several housemates have food poisoning. From what? Last night's Subway, which we only got to avoid eating the pork that was possibly bad as none of us wanted to be sick. FML
I stink
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML
takeshi
Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML
notyourcleaner
Puchong, Malaysia
Living the dream
Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML
Anonymous
Two rooms, two atmospheres
Today, I tried to cook a nice meal for my sister's friends. It turned out perfect and they enjoyed it, while I was in the bathroom throwing up for two hours due to food poisoning. FML
mikesok988
United States
Cringe
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Top comments
EnterSandman_fml 20
Come on, almost every guy is a genital man.
SystemofaBlink41 27
Don't forget to flush...
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Comments (115)
asnakelovinbabe 16
Easy. 1. Strap a bucket to your head. 2. Allow your GF to sit on the toilet. 3. Sit on a bucket, facing her. You can puke into the toilet between her legs, and she can puke into the one strapped to your head. Problem solved.
leadawg75 12
That is repulsive. Although, congratulations for trying.
asnakelovinbabe 16
It is pretty repulsive. That was exactly my intention. Apparently people on FML aren't too fond of that level of repulsive... But it's cool :)
lifeisgood_03 8
#alongcamepolly
Mr_Que_Dijo23 5
It'll be alright if you have that air freshener that gives you erections
iammeorami 25
Damn I remember that one.
TheElBurrrito 21
Sounds like an "all natural" butt plug.
DocBastard 40
And this is why fish belong in the sea. Alive.
kevsandy303 12
Fish gotta swim, people gotta eat. But people eating is more important. Capture ALL the fish!
asherm 15
I like fish, but cooked. I suppose even cooked fish can get you sick if not stored or prepared right. I just find raw fish nasty blahh
eksyneet 23
let's play "spot the vegan".
Sputnikspak 13
If sashimi is prepared correctly, it's perfectly safe. I've never been sick from sushi, and I eat a crazy amount of it. Also, sushi doesn't necessarily include raw fish. I've been out for sushi and everyone got sick but me. Why? MAYONNAISE. I'm allergic to eggs, so I don't order any with mayo. That's usually sketchier than the fish.
DocBastard 40
Eksyneet - Vegan? Are you kidding? The best thing on a plate is a bacon cheeseburger. I just hate fish.
Happyhighs1 3
Well obviously the stronger more cunning one will win rights to the toilet. Have fun pooping outside lol.
EvilUndead 9
Be a gentlemen - let the girl use the toilet, use a bucket yourself.
samasara 20
buckets. Lots and lots of buckets.
Theclarksondales 8
Go to the sushi restaurant and use their toilets (assuming you didn't make it yourself)
dontpanic_fml 32
These are the times when anything that has a drain must be used.
kwyk 23
Time to take your relationship to the next level... Good luck.