Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up denial and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML
Today, my girlfriend found out that she's pregnant and has spent the last 5 hours in the bathroom crying at “what her father is going to think”. She’s 32 years old for god's sake, in an adult relationship, and still thinks her father is going to be angry at her. FML
Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML
Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, this guy I've been dating for a few months freaked out and called his mom crying, because I told him I might be pregnant with his baby. He is 27. I haven't even taken a pregnancy test yet. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He broke down crying because his mother is going to be so mad at him. He’s in his 30’s and we've lived together for over 4 years, it’s not like it was a drunken mistake, it just happened naturally. FML
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Top comments
mark5723 0
This week on the Maury show, a 16 year old girl demands a paternity test from herself
starbeast 0
F your child's life.
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Comments (234)
loserman67 36
Wow, I want to say something like, "real Einstein you have there." BUt I am pretty certain she was scared shitless the entire time in front of her parents and rational thought was not the order of the day for her. It could have been worse, she could have blurted out, "It's okay, I'm not the mom, we only have anal sex."
u002764 3
that would have been awesome.
AlaskaKid95 7
I feel bad for the baby. :(
br0ccoli 15
Biology fail. Guys, let this be a lesson. A 3-pack of trojans costs less in headaches than having to witness a situation like this.
ohmandapants 17
If you wanted her to act maturely, maybe you should have waited until she was mature. There are sooo many options out there to prevent pregnancy. YDI.
pagullarka 9
I like
Bullpine 11
And how do you that she wasn't scared shitless in that situation or simply making a joke? Even if it was pure stupidity, that doesn't make her young you prick.
tannarox 0
Age doesn't necessarily equal maturity, but this situation would have been avoided if OP and Derpette had waited to have sex until they were both mature enough to handle the consequences. Duh.
arielhoee 9
79, obviously she's young, otherwise her parents would not have been so upset about her pregnancy.
ohmandapants 17
This damn app...
alycion 39
Rofl. I think a lot of us said stupid stuff in a panic before. I know I have. But that's definitely the best yet.
tifsuz 9
*cries because this woman is breeding* This is why there should be a test... Editing to elaborate - for a license to breed, with an IQ prereq!
Adrena_fml 5
Have fun with that awkward conversation when they find out she really is....
DjeePee 25
You can't believe how happy I am for never having to tell my parents that I'm pregnant. Good heavens, OP, I bet you two are (too) young for having babies, otherwise her parents (and she) wouldn't freak out. Contraception is way easier than a child, you know? This being said, you are a good and brave and loving boyfriend for not letting your girlfriend pass the news alone. Congrats' on that one.
aleishaa_jadee 13
Your comments are always awesome. Just sayin :)
JoonieMoon 0
I've always wanted to say that. Or: I don't have any children. That I know of.