Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up denial and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML
Today, my girlfriend found out that she's pregnant and has spent the last 5 hours in the bathroom crying at “what her father is going to think”. She’s 32 years old for god's sake, in an adult relationship, and still thinks her father is going to be angry at her. FML
Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML
Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, this guy I've been dating for a few months freaked out and called his mom crying, because I told him I might be pregnant with his baby. He is 27. I haven't even taken a pregnancy test yet. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He broke down crying because his mother is going to be so mad at him. He’s in his 30’s and we've lived together for over 4 years, it’s not like it was a drunken mistake, it just happened naturally. FML
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Top comments
mark5723 0
This week on the Maury show, a 16 year old girl demands a paternity test from herself
starbeast 0
F your child's life.
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Comments (234)
GirlYouNasty 11
I would say FYL if you hadn't said "straight up Tard-mode." but since you did, YDI
sadistmonkey 19
What?
desireev 18
I think that 'straight-up tard mode' is a good use of words for this situation. Either way, FYL, OP! Just take care of that baby! That's all you can and need to do! :)
ZebulonPike 8
13 has a point. "Straight-up Tard mode" is rude (both to whom you're talking about and others). Not enough for a YDI, though.
ddeathbombb 5
Wtf you messed up
sweetliferg 3
That was the funny part
twilightluvr101 4
I would give u a thumbs up but then I read ur comment.
jondivey 9
He didnt say you deserve it because "straight-up tard mode" is rude, he said it because who in the world who isnt a five year old uses the word "tard"?
SexyQueen0905 24
You'd better hope your child doesn't take after the mom in intelligence!
danishbagel 3
Damn, you beat me to it. Just noticed :P
danishbagel 3
I wouldn't want your kid to have the intelligence of your girlfriend.
DrMime 10
"It's okay, Brad and I are adopting another African child, we are pregnant with a young baby named generosity".
enopola 5
Please stop. Your not funny.
DocBastard 40
Well if she isn't the mom, then you must be a two-timing asshole! ******* cheater!
rubberduckie94 13
"What did the blond say when she found out she was pregnant? " "I hope it is mine!" *Despite being blond myself waits for the thumbs down from all the other blonds
sqeakyclean 7
I'm a brunette and I'm giving you a thumbs up.
nofearjenshere 12
So you're a blonde, & you can't even spell blonde right? You are just are just helping the stereotype even more, my friend.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Um, it can be spelled blond. Just saying.
Shrike 24
Derp. Try putting the Barbie dolls away and paying attention in English class, 47.
rubberduckie94 13
Thanks 51, I actually thought it had an e on it, but when auto correct accepted it without an e I second guessed myself. Anyway, unless someone has completely raped the language I tend to over look minor errors here on fml. Not that it is my second language, but you never know when English is someone's second on this site without clicking their profile. Even if it's their first they could be from somewhere that spells gray with an e . Many countries have alternate spellings of words that do not look right to Americans.
SpunkyyyMonkeyy 10
You need to learn how to get to the point quicker. But that's a pretty funny joke. Haha
tymarie2012 31
It can be spelled both ways. Although blond (without the e) is used to describe males, mixed gender, or uncertain gender. Blonde refers to women or female gender(:
lylee001 6
Like the difference between socailise socialize is american and ENGLISH
5t3ff1k4h 47
66 - Case in point, I'm from Canada and I encounter many Americans and their differences in spelling daily. 82 - I had no idea the English language differentiated between genders when spelling words. I honestly thought languages like French, Italian and Spanish were the only ones.
fthku 13
And Hebrew as well, #123. OP, I dunno, humor is usually my way out of awkwardfreaky-outy situations, though I suppose in this particular case it wasn't the most appropriate of times to use it. Still liked her joke.
CelPaige 7
Honestly people just read the story laugh and make a funny comment. I really don't think this guy was asking for your input. :) Thank you for making my day :)
LadyLol_fml 15
You made the mistake of thinking we wanted yours :)
ALpein 0
Welcome to the internet. I will be your guide.
mark5723 0
So you make a comment but somehow don't give your input....
desireev 18
If you like meeting new people and making friends, you shouldn't make comments like this.. The reason for the comment button is so people can comment and, mostly, say what they want to say. Don't speak for the OP...
micahsmommy 13
Anytime you post an FML you open yourself to criticism. A lot of the times the comments on here are funnier than the FML. If you don't like the comments, don't read them. Simple as that.
bubo_fml 11
Definitely get a paternity test done...This bright bulb doesn't even know when she ***** herself!
rubberduckie94 13
You were expecting her parents to not freak out a little bit? Come on op, what planet are you from?
Ins0mau 20
Who said that he wasn't expecting that?
anniekins 6
What...? She really went into 'tard-mode'.
TomHarrow 5
Yup.