Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up denial and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML
Today, my girlfriend found out that she's pregnant and has spent the last 5 hours in the bathroom crying at “what her father is going to think”. She’s 32 years old for god's sake, in an adult relationship, and still thinks her father is going to be angry at her. FML
Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML
Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, this guy I've been dating for a few months freaked out and called his mom crying, because I told him I might be pregnant with his baby. He is 27. I haven't even taken a pregnancy test yet. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He broke down crying because his mother is going to be so mad at him. He’s in his 30’s and we've lived together for over 4 years, it’s not like it was a drunken mistake, it just happened naturally. FML
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Top comments
mark5723 0
This week on the Maury show, a 16 year old girl demands a paternity test from herself
starbeast 0
F your child's life.
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Comments (234)
chilla4m3 6
Normally I don't comment, but having family members who are ACTUALLY mentally retarded and having to deal with insensitive people who use vulgar terms such as Tard Mode to describe something or someone who is not actually mentally handicapped bugs me. There are better words out there to describe what you want to say. But I do acknowledge that this is just my personal soapbox. To the people who are commenting that they should have waited until she was mature. The girl isn't the one who was freaking out immaturely, her PARENTS were. She just got panicky at her parents' reactions and wanted to make them feel better and just I bet made things worse.
ohmandapants 17
Her parents are freaking out immaturely? Their daughter (who is probably a teenager) is pregnant! Who the **** is gonna take care of that kid? Most likely, the parents are. They have every right to be upset.
tifsuz 9
...then shouldn't you be referring to them as "mentally handicapped/challenged/handi-abled" rather than retarded? HA! PWNED!
rockyraccoon28 8
62, retarded is an actual term that describes mentally impaired people. it is society that has turned it into a derogatory term.
tifsuz 9
*rather than retarded
tifsuz 9
re·tard·ed (r-tärdd) adj. 1. Often Offensive Affected with mental retardation. 2. Occurring or developing later than desired or expected; delayed. Note the "offensive". If you want to get PC on a humor site, go all the way!
KiddNYC1O 22
Maury would so dig this...
GoodluckElly 13
I'd probably say the same thing as your girlfriend just to be s smart ass
gracehi 33
Not sure if your girlfriend is a sex ed moron, or comedic genius. Either way, raising a child with her should be...interesting.
skrillexFTW47 5
"Straight up tard mode" made me laugh so hard! Just made mah day.
arrowtopatella 11
You guys realize contraception isn't always 100%, right? I have respect for the OP for standing by his girlfriend and not scooting off, and his girlfriend was probably just insanely nervous..
DjeePee 25
Yeah, we do. But we also noticed that all the teens (well, many) who got knocked up are pregnant 'because the contraception failed'. Curious.
ohmandapants 17
Honestly, when contraception fails, you notice. You notice a broken condom. When that happens, you do the smart thing and take the morning after pill. Right away. Its not 100% but it has a damn good chance of preventing pregnancy if taken within 24-72 hours. And if she was on the pill, the chances of it "failing" are close to 0 if you take it properly...
Epic_Times 10
#76 has a point, contraception can fail. Condoms can break and the.birth control pill is only 98% effective.
ohmandapants 17
...if taken properly and if you're not on any meds that can lower its effectiveness, the pill is 99.7% effective actually.
hateevryone 15
ummm tard-mode?
megaaann_fml 9
Retard. ReTARD. TARD.
morgiepuff 14
Everyone has their blonde moments! Besides, she was probably very nervous and upset that her parents were freaking out. :) Best of luck to you and your girlfriend, OP!
general58 2
this is what happens when 15 year olds mate
groupleader 7
Then, ummmm who IS? Seriously dude, that's your way out. Do you really want to be responsible for a child, when your girlfriend acts like such a dumbass?
TomHarrow 5
Dumbass doesn't matter. You father a child, you need to ******* man-up.
Timmeeh 17
Hence why it's posted here; you evidently don't quite get how this site works...
ohmandapants 17
87- don't ever ******* reproduce, you asshole. If you have a girlfriend, I hope she runs as far away from you as possible.