Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up denial and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML
Today, my girlfriend found out that she's pregnant and has spent the last 5 hours in the bathroom crying at “what her father is going to think”. She’s 32 years old for god's sake, in an adult relationship, and still thinks her father is going to be angry at her. FML
Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML
Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, this guy I've been dating for a few months freaked out and called his mom crying, because I told him I might be pregnant with his baby. He is 27. I haven't even taken a pregnancy test yet. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He broke down crying because his mother is going to be so mad at him. He’s in his 30’s and we've lived together for over 4 years, it’s not like it was a drunken mistake, it just happened naturally. FML
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Top comments
mark5723 0
This week on the Maury show, a 16 year old girl demands a paternity test from herself
starbeast 0
F your child's life.
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Comments (234)
SitoXSlayer 0
When your child finds out who his mom is, he's gonna wish lynch himself with his umbilical cord.
alexa183 2
Congratulations on your baby, even if it wasn't planned(: and everyone has blonde moments (I have quite a few daily) so I hope everyone was able to laugh about what your girlfriend said! I'm sure you're going to make great parents(:
4leafclover888 3
Omg then who is the mother of this poor baby inside your girlfriend! Lol
melrose90210 10
Usually parents are happy to become grandparents... So I'm guessing you're young. In that case, you both deserve it for being so irresponsible in the first place.
christine529926 0
Don't day the R word :/
Jenn051692 0
I would NOT wanna be in your shoes.... Sry man!
dansco 25
She's a keeper!
OffToTheGayBar 9
I'm a ginger and I'm going to steal your soul. (Even though I'm really a dairy cow) Moove over, Carrot Top.
goddamniluvme 0
Hahahahaha sounds like u picked a winner! Let's hope it drinks from ur side of the gene pool when it comes to intelligence.
spottyblanket 8
AHAHAHA