dzisfml
Canada
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
RIP Turd (peacebeuponit)
Beirut, Lebanon
Freak out
Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML
dontevenassk
Canada
Pranked
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to scare me by tilting the portable street toilets while I was taking a dump in one of them. One of my friends accidentally rocked it too hard and it fell on the floor. They wouldn't even let me sit in the car after because I had shit all over me. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
Anonymous
Ring of fire
Today, I did a big shit at work and found there was no toilet paper. I had to wipe my ass with disinfectant toilet seat wipes. It burns so bad, I can almost taste it. FML
Anonymous
San Francisco, United States
Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML
Karmaisabitch
Boulder, United States
Today, I wanted to prank my roommate. So, I thought it would be funny to take all the toilet paper out of our bathroom. She thought it would be funny to wipe with my cashmere sweater. FML
Anonymous
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
unknown
Philippines
Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML
Anonymous
Chesapeake, United States
Funny, huh?
Today, after having an upset stomach for two days, I thought it would be funny to rip a fart in front of two teen boys at the hardware store. It wasn’t until I crapped myself wearing shorts and it ran down my leg into my sock that I realized it wasn’t at all “funny.” FML
Dummy
Happy Easter!
Today, I was stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper in a family member’s house. I looked around and found baby wipes. I was saved! Unfortunately, they were actually Clorox wipes. The bleach gave me a chemical burn in my ass. FML
Top comments
MermaidSongXOXO 6
And it was. Your point?
smbridges 15
yea i agree with #8 you should have seen the discoloration of ur tp i mean unless ur tp is usually orange!!
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Comments (175)
KingFappington 10
How didn't you notice that? Wouldn't the TP be red?
gallaeo 21
If you didn't notice 1- redish colored tp, 2- funny smelling tp, 3- when tp gets wet or damp in any way it's texture changes...it gets harder, rougher, & just all around feels differently. If you couldn't tell any of that then you totally deserved it. Just burns your ass up doesn't it.....
undercoverninja 9
did you not see that the toilet payer was wet?...
uchihastephy88 25
At least it wasn't pepper spray..
coocoloky 12
Wasn't there one of these, but instead of Tabasco it was pepper spray???
disabledhuman 2
YDI! This can't be real. You're either entirely devoid of all senses or this is a bunch of bullshit. As soon as TP gets wet you know it's been used or something happened to it. And the red dye of tabasco... Really? You're a simp.
lucasj23 11
and you couldn't see that your toilet paper had been messed with? right