Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzel-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I fell asleep while at an outside birthday party in the sun for a five-year-old. That five-year-old put an animal cracker on my forehead. I now have a rhino-shaped tan line. FML
Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Today, my "friend" put itching powder in my cast while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replied, "You farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
Today, a day after I went to the beach and fell asleep in the sun without applying sunscreen, I woke up to find myself looking like a lobster, with the worst tan lines possible. On top of that, I had to go to a wedding, and when I walked in, my cousin asked if I had “taken a bath in some tomato soup.” FML
Today, I went to the beach with my friends to show off my engagement ring. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up extremely sunburnt to a text from my boyfriend confessing that he's been cheating on me. I gave him the ring back. Now I have its tan line on my finger. FML
Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML
Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
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Top comments
shoeofallcosmos 0
Hey, that's cool! Why don't we have a "screw you that's awesome" button?
pizz0wn3d 0
lmao. your friend is awesome.
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Comments (149)
thumb_r0ck3r 0
That sounds really familiar. Why don't you read back a few FML's. The same thing happened to someone else. This is fake.
cattoe7 0
lol your friend was right that is funny but sucks for you
molitov 0
kinda sweet.. don't use fake tan to cover it.. u will have an orangy pretzel instead
Mata_Hari 0
How is this an FML? I know I'm weird but I'd LOVE to have a pretzel tan line...
XxXdiedsadXxX 0
that must make a cool tat!
ssyyyykke 0
=0 oh gawd that is awful
Matticus433 0
Haha I would be proud of that, maybe start a new trend or something
bass1989 0
hahahahahahahahaha, sorry, but that is too funny!
Chocoholic17 0
Get a job at a pretzel cart for the rest of the summer.
lilactress717 1
LMAOO! That is funny stufff, I wanna meet this friend now! lol. But still, you know you gotta get back at him! You shouldd put like a heart or a flower or something on him while he sleeps.