Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzel-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I fell asleep while at an outside birthday party in the sun for a five-year-old. That five-year-old put an animal cracker on my forehead. I now have a rhino-shaped tan line. FML
Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Today, my "friend" put itching powder in my cast while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replied, "You farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
Today, a day after I went to the beach and fell asleep in the sun without applying sunscreen, I woke up to find myself looking like a lobster, with the worst tan lines possible. On top of that, I had to go to a wedding, and when I walked in, my cousin asked if I had “taken a bath in some tomato soup.” FML
Today, I went to the beach with my friends to show off my engagement ring. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up extremely sunburnt to a text from my boyfriend confessing that he's been cheating on me. I gave him the ring back. Now I have its tan line on my finger. FML
Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML
Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
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Top comments
shoeofallcosmos 0
Hey, that's cool! Why don't we have a "screw you that's awesome" button?
pizz0wn3d 0
lmao. your friend is awesome.
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Comments (149)
shoeofallcosmos 0
Hey, that's cool! Why don't we have a "screw you that's awesome" button?
_Noon_ 0
There should definitely be a button like that!
ravensierra 0
YDI for having friends, you should socially isolate yourself.
grlwitperlEring 0
Agreed that's pretty much exactly what I thought when I read it
cmtriplecage 1
yea that button wold be cool but i think in this case her friend is awesome for doing that!!!
FarSide 23
Now, I don't care who you are, that right there is funny.
blondiee09 0
#1 : AGREED! lol and your friend is a genius!!!
icall_BS 0
I would have totally thanked your friend for doing that for me.
joce445 0
Wow, admit it you would be slighty pissed. But this FML is hilarious!
rachelmacivor 0
we should hava my life is worse button
RpiesSPIES 27
#137 I believe that's for FMyLife: Narcissism/Pessimism edition.
pizz0wn3d 0
lmao. your friend is awesome.
iSlowPwnz 0
I agree haha! That's freaking hilarious! But still...I clicked FYL so you can feel a little better ;)
insanechinaman 0
who doesnt want a pretzel shaped tan line :D
clarinetgarza 0
that's a pretty cool idea XD
whoisthisgirl 4
that is so amazing lol winnnnn
rmujerita 0
awwww poor you.
tiffanyro 0
AHAHHAHAHAHHA xD
eddy1sis 0
that sucks. lol.
beenhereallalong 0
use some fake tan to cover it up :)
americayay 0
Nah. OP should use some fake tan to DRAW a pretzel outline onto their friend's forhead while they're asleep.
beenhereallalong 0
no. fail.
americayay 0
no. you fail. because that was a great idea. dillhole.
colourmealy 0
thats hilarious,but it does suck
madlogik 0
do you know the cheetos/ seagull girl? fyl
too_much_fun 0
my thoughts exactly
lalaimbored 0
hahah thats why you should NEVER fall asleep at the beach! nothing good ever happens!
donovanrammstein 3
summer means one thing - beaches and food-related mishaps!
f_this_s 0
Haha, that's what I was thinking too! You either get fried or someone does something awful to you... its funny when it happens to someone else, but I would sure be pissed if someone did it to me... that's why I dont go to the beach!
keitorin 0
HAHA xD
Zomlette 0
That's a knee-slapper. It also sounds like something I would do.