Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzel-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I fell asleep while at an outside birthday party in the sun for a five-year-old. That five-year-old put an animal cracker on my forehead. I now have a rhino-shaped tan line. FML
Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Today, my "friend" put itching powder in my cast while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replied, "You farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
Today, a day after I went to the beach and fell asleep in the sun without applying sunscreen, I woke up to find myself looking like a lobster, with the worst tan lines possible. On top of that, I had to go to a wedding, and when I walked in, my cousin asked if I had “taken a bath in some tomato soup.” FML
Today, I went to the beach with my friends to show off my engagement ring. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up extremely sunburnt to a text from my boyfriend confessing that he's been cheating on me. I gave him the ring back. Now I have its tan line on my finger. FML
Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML
Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
shoeofallcosmos 0
Hey, that's cool! Why don't we have a "screw you that's awesome" button?
pizz0wn3d 0
lmao. your friend is awesome.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (149)
chilliin 0
LOOOL THATS HILARIOUS
rakhil11 7
116: lol and i'm sure u'd like 2 thank ur family and friends 4 supporting u up until u read this fml? and continuing 2? ;) OP: so? I WANT A PRETZEL TAN!!!
Hockeylover87_71 0
oh haven't you heard? pretzel tans are the latest and greatest! everyones got one. JK!!! your friend is awesome!
Pian0Man 0
That is the best burn i've ever heard of! i'm going to try that out on my girlfriend... :P tell your friend that she's insanely badass.
caomei 0
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
enphinitie 20
that's so awesome such a cool friend :D
mayumm 0
it sounds like that pne episode of suite life on deck.....or maybe its just me
hahaha_sucks2BU 0
soooo funny lol
claras100 5
hahaha i find this one extremely hilarious
cinnomonroll 0
that is funny!!