Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious when I dance drunk. I was completely sober. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my alcoholic friend, who is now sober, told me I was a lot more fun when he was drinking. FML
Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding, "Well, not completely, I guess." FML
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Today, I was at a party and I danced. Judging by people's stares, I should never ever attempt it again. FML
Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, my wife showed me a video she took of me last night. I was shit-faced, dancing half naked to '90s club music in the middle of the street at midnight. She won't stop laughing at me and replaying the video. FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
Today, someone told me they liked my personality when I'm drunk. I asked, "What about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML
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Top comments
anonymuse_fml 31
Don't worry about it. The best thing about clubbing is that everyone always thinks you're drunk so it doesn't matter if you dance horribly.
ScratchCatPower 32
Don't dance too crazily, I guess? FYL.
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Comments (53)
chuka81 27
When all else fails, tap dance. Works everytime.
jadenjacksonm 14
Plot twist: you are the best dancer in the world and you swore to secrecy never to reveal your awesome moves to the common public.
sstahpp 33
**** yeah!
DamnBailie 23
As long as youre having fun, thats all that matters. Its called "Free style" lol.
disbatch 14
don't dance, I can't dance either, alcohol is poison, clubs are a waste of time
Eyalsh 32
you must be fun at parties! oh wait...
tranced_ 45
And I've been told that I dance like noodles. .
esamolwan 18
just go with it and pretend you were drunk
pleasedie 22
Don't worry, she's obviously just jelly over your epic dance moves :p
whitnayfortooh 29
clubs are overrated
AyeJay101 25
Keep doing you thing! Maybe your friend was drunk.
mattrd_fml 31
I bet you danced better than Elaine on Seinfeld.