Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious when I dance drunk. I was completely sober. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my alcoholic friend, who is now sober, told me I was a lot more fun when he was drinking. FML
Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding, "Well, not completely, I guess." FML
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Today, I was at a party and I danced. Judging by people's stares, I should never ever attempt it again. FML
Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, my wife showed me a video she took of me last night. I was shit-faced, dancing half naked to '90s club music in the middle of the street at midnight. She won't stop laughing at me and replaying the video. FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
Today, someone told me they liked my personality when I'm drunk. I asked, "What about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML
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Top comments
anonymuse_fml 31
Don't worry about it. The best thing about clubbing is that everyone always thinks you're drunk so it doesn't matter if you dance horribly.
ScratchCatPower 32
Don't dance too crazily, I guess? FYL.
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Comments (53)
ScratchCatPower 32
Don't dance too crazily, I guess? FYL.
stingray112 24
Bro unless you were to take dance lessons, nobody is going to be a crazy good dancer so dw about it. Not like they are any better xD
James_is_Mexican 25
Does that mean you dance good when you're drunk?
anonymuse_fml 31
Don't worry about it. The best thing about clubbing is that everyone always thinks you're drunk so it doesn't matter if you dance horribly.
399 41
okay
abbyade 21
Lol as long as you are having fun..who cares!! I hope you enjoyed hour night irregardless.
Geckosrock99 33
Umm... Irregardless isn't a word. It's regardless.
Countryboy1996 18
That's not even a real word. You're affixing the negative prefix "IR" to "regardless", but as regardless is already negative, it's a logical absurdity! ???
devildog562 33
No what's a logic absurdity?! People who feel a crazy impulse to correct other people over the Internet on some stupid shit. Just my humble opinion though. It ain't no problem in my eyes- have a field day.
RenamonFucksLuna 21
Have fun while you are there! That's all that matters.
Shredder 16
Just enjoy yourself! Who cares if your friend thinks your dancing is funny? Encourage her to dance funny with you!
MagnusDeus 24
Hey, feel good that you don't have to get drunk to have a good time. A lot of people can't say that.
FlyingMoonLady 11
At least you're having fun!
FuKcMee 32
maybe she wasn't refuring to this particular instance
myanichole 22
At least you can use being "drunk" as an excuse to your dancing.