Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML
Today, my 14 year-old daughter threw a massive fit over showering. She dislodged the shower curtain rod and threatened to beat us with it if we ever force her to shower again. FML
Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter thought it'd be funny to cut my hair while I was sleeping. FML
Today, my daughter locked herself in the bathroom having a tantrum after her boyfriend dumped her. So, out of sheer desperation, I had to sit in the kitchen sink for a pee, which is when my husband walked in with his mother and sister. FML
Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML
Today, my shower is being renovated so I washed my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year-old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal by accident. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
Tell her you are a drain monster fighter. Arm yourself with bleach, a plunger and a knife. Tell your daughter to wait outside, go into the bathroom. Make some grunting noises, come out and say the monster is dead. It should work, if not slap the husband and tell him to reassure your daughter.
turtlemanz 8
Lol nomnom
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Comments (159)
SoultheWolf 19
Does that surprise you? It's the father's obligation to tease their children.
Axioner 0
You only have a childhood once, and you only get to see your kids grow up once. Relax a little and have some fun with it. 10 years from now it will be a good story.
THE_A_TEEN 28
So, it's acceptable to scare your child to a point when he/she's terrified of taking a bath?
buildajay 4
It exist
coe08 6
same fear when I was younger
asktherunes 4
What an ass .......
vettle 6
If you're calling your husband an idiot then you really have no respect for him. Just get a divorce now before it goes on too much longer he deserves better.
numbersystem 4
Child, I will fight this monster drain And inflict upon it pain With some bullets to the brain I shall end this reign of terror. If you think the story bland I'll retell this tall tale grand But we must accept the fact That your father was in error. If you accept the power Of hygiene and thus shower With utter poise and valor You will have the proudest mother.
KendratheUnicorn 0
Epicness at its finest :)
HALAL_fml 0
Swagtastic that is just awesome u are a genius
Paigerosecooper 6
:o Im still terrified of baths! there's gross stuff in drains!! o: makes me shiver
trg372 2
My mom used to scare me with the "Drain Monster" as well....and "Raw Headed Bloody Bones." that's enough to traumatize a kid
PawnShopPenguin 4
You don't wanna mess with the drain monster.... I used to have a little brother who didn't think the drain monster was real. Oh poor Jeffrey...