Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It's cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I taught my 18 month-old daughter to wipe the green, snotty mucus from under her nose with a tissue. To which, like a ninja, she then wiped my open-mouthed upper lip with that same snotty tissue. FML
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML
Today, I asked my shut in of a daughter why she was sniffing black pepper. She said she was practicing to make her sneezes sound like coughs, thereby decreasing the likelihood of someone talking to her. FML
Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML
Today, I came home from work to my three year-old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said, "Daddy, smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it? Then she pushed my face into the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML
Today, my six-month-old daughter decided to explore my nose, and before I could stop her she shoved her thumb deep in there. She thought it was hilarious when blood started gushing down my shirt. My nose is agony to touch and I still had to clean her up first. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML
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Top comments
Decapitation 3
This FML socks.
iggz 0
She did exactly what you said
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Comments (130)
mserrato 8
How is this an fml
MrPacMan36 4
Wondering the same thing...... :I
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
I know right? I mean who doesn't blow their nose into their own socks then let mom clean it? :P
DoubleDose 0
Whether this is an fml or not is snot the problem, the problem is that it socks that the mom has to clean it up
leogirl95 12
^what?
MizzErikaHart 8
If its cold y make her take her socks off?
darkmis1 18
They might have been wet.
ArcadePie 10
Worst fml ever..
Badjuju7711 0
Cutest FML ever.
LiveLaughFML 10
I don't see the tissue here. What your daughter did was adorable! :-)
hannahcorrine 0
Agree with 1. This just sounds like a cute mistake she made.
nonelikeworms 0
lol that girl is so cute
Decapitation 3
This FML socks.
pitchblease 2
And it toes. Wash them, snot a problem.
Lily_lops95 0
Haha^^^
flockz 20
its just a sock OP. im sure your emotions will eventually heel.
Imgonnahaveabf 9
OP's daughter has school on a saturday?
cupcakeluver1212 0
In france they have a half day on Wednesday and a half day on Saturday.
doctorwhogirl 0
it's called recycling op
bassdredd 2
so your daughter comes home cold and your first response is "take off your socks"? have you been clinically diagnosed?
leogirl95 12
Be more clear in your directions then.
springbok_fml 2
i think its reasonable to assume a five year old knows not to use a sock to blow their nose!
leogirl95 12
...you never know...children say and do the darnedest things :D
auriane_fml 19
@ 10 Read the fml again. The child did exactly what the mother said. It wasn't his fault that the mother wasn't clear about where to blow his nose. The child was also really tired. The op should be glad that she didn't say: take your socks of and use the toilet. That would have been an even bigger mess.
hollyman 0
Haha that's an funny fml and a epic fail!
autumnxxbottom 0
A*
bizarre_ftw 22
If this is epic, the world has failed
badandevil 0
Wow u fail.... Honestly its a little kid u ass wipe.
13FTW 9
29, you also missed *an...
iggz 0
She did exactly what you said
TheiMightyKhaL 2
At least he didn't say "Take off your socks and shoes and blow me."
Right_Click 12
However, I fail to see how this is in -any- way an FML for the OPs life. Okay, her kid used her sock to blow her nose. Perhaps it's best the OP doesn't know what teenage boys do with their socks...
liquidSELECT 0
I realy think that was your fault.
flyestgirleva13 0
Love the pro pic
txgirl2013 14
Well you should have been more clear.
gleeklove 2
Read #4
techweed 12
Just throw the damn thing in the washer
thatfrenchguy 8
Yea that's what I do to my kids too when they do something bad.
thatfrenchguy 8
Yea that's what I do to my kids too when they do something bad.
sexxxysydney 14
How exactly did she do anything bad? She's 5, it was an accident.
boofgall 16
#57, shhh. You clearly missed the joke, sweetie.
erockinthesuburb 17
Think of all the money you'll save on Kleenex!
J3R3MYY 14
Too bad kleenex is .99$ and a thing of socks can be like 5-10$