Today, my fiancé's mom was driving me to the store to pick up my wedding dress. A few minutes into the drive, she said the car's tank was nearly out of "Jews" and that she'd have to give it "a whole lotta gas", then chuckled to herself. She's well aware that I'm Jewish. FML
This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
A tad overbearing
Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML
Miracles
Today, my wife and I decided to celebrate Christmas Eve with her side of the family. When we arrived at her parents' house, I heard her mother say that Christmas miracles don't exist since my wife brought me along. FML
Effed up
Today, my car broke down. My colleague came to get me and then, later, my husband picked me up from work. We went to collect my abandoned car, but it was gone. It took 10 minutes of me panicking and thinking it had been stolen before he crumpled in laughter and told me he'd already collected it. FML
STOP! THIEF!
Today, my boss entrusted me with his car to run an errand, as I usually take the bus. I managed to get there and back safely before someone slammed into me while I was re-entering the lot, causing major damage. It was his wife, who thought I was a car thief. FML
Easily distracted
Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML
Sigma mindset
Today, I was pulled over for speeding and was shocked that the cop asked me out. Before I could respond, he noticed my wedding ring, said "Nevermind" and then gave me a ticket. FML
Yada yada yade
Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML
Disbelief
Today, I went on my first date in months. My mum had invited friends over, and when I told them I was going out on a date, my mum said "No you're not, don't lie. Who would go out with you?" FML
Hands off parenting
Today, my mom had an appointment with my teacher after class. She never showed. My teacher ended up driving me home. FML
Silly idea
Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML
Top comments
sharkgirl4 23
Well that's ******* rude. And a terrible way to start an important day.
Tripartita 45
Why would concentration camps gas a nearly empty chamber? Her incredibly stupid joke doesn't even make sense.
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Comments (97)
happym 19
My dad had a similar situation when he first met my grandmother. She told him that she was buying something and she totally "Jew'd the seller down."
ninipooh2 18
She might have said "juice" not "Jews".
tyler_1802 5
You deserved it -Hitler
punxsy_phil 11
I mean she probably didn't mean anything by it. It was still pretty rude, but I wouldn't hold it against her
BodyCountEndless 20
Haha Jew
ACCOUNTKILLER 18
I doubt it was a personal attack against you- she's probably made that same punderful joke for decades.
Stoogey 16
I'm sorry but I find this bloody hilarious! ??
Tyrax 16
Holy freaking cow. That's... There are no words.
Zoom10124 13
damn that's too funny
YouDoDeserveIt 4
Couldn't you just pee in car's tank or it doesn't work that way?