What.
Pawtucket, United States
Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML
overthehorizon
United States
Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire two acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML
Lisa
Philadelphia, United States
Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
Anonymous
United States
Fresh and not Fit
Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML
Anonymous
United States
Coming through!
Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML
RiceCrispyTreats
Pelham, United States
Today, I left my phone outside on the grass while I went inside to get a drink. I didn't expect my dad to run over it with the lawn mower. FML
dumbdad
United States
Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML
Top comments
lorraineald 7
He could make great money mowing other people's lawns.
agentaquamarine 4
To be fair, riding lawn mowers looks fun as ****.
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Comments (95)
theKevmeister 13
it's your new car
Enslaved 38
Oh (John) Deere!
cmac86 24
they're fun even if you don't have a yard. you see a lot of that in the south.
babyshanice 12
Never know when you might need a ride somewhere!
emmingle 24
Happy birthday! He couldn't afford a new car.
SamanthaNGoree 10
Perhaps he's thinking of starting a new business.
aintlifeapain 21
Oh come on! Didn't you know you don't need to have a lawn to buy a lawn mower. It's for riding around the block. *Sarcasm needs a font on FML*
cottoncandymango 17
He has high hopes! Just wait, you'll have a lawn very soon, my friend.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Ok I'm just gonna comment and say this, the hell if I know lol.
Joedbag 8
Still a better love story than Twilight...
imlifeless2 25
practically every love story is better than twilight.
melody309 35
Except this isn't a love story
bosox29 14
Wow really? That's getting pretty old...
queerdragon 20
"Op, I need you to sit down for a moment," Father said. "Something very important has happened." Op sits down on the couch, clutching at a pillow for comfort. "Yes, father? Is someone sick?" "No, I am free. I have hidden this from your mother and you long enough!" Father said. "I am in love with Lawna the Lawn Mower and we are moving into a shed together. I packed my bags." Op blinked. "Pardon?" "You cannot stop me! Lawna needs me!"