Today, my family got together to read my grandpa's will. He gave all of his grandkids $400 each. Except me. It seems he thought I'd see the funny side in being bequeathed a blow-up sex doll. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because, "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML
Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML
Today, my aunts found grandpa's will, which left everything to me and nothing to them, and his lawyer confirmed on the phone this was definitely grandpa's wish. My entire family now hate me and think I manipulated him. My grandpa has hated me my entire life, so I think this is his way of punishing me. FML
Today, I was at the reading of my grandma's will. Apparently I was removed from it some time ago, and the £2,500 I would have gotten went to my cheating bitch of an ex-fiancée. It seems my grandma adored her, and never forgave me for "driving her away" from the family. FML
Today, I found out that when my uncle died, he left me and the rest of my family £2000 each. Only my parents kept and spent my share on themselves. FML
Today, my grandpa died suddenly. About a month ago, he gifted me a few thousand dollars to buy a used car. My uncle is now demanding I return it, saying I can't prove that my grandfather agreed to it, and that he wants his rightful share of the inheritance. FML
Today, my grandpa told my mom that he needs to rewrite his will soon. I jokingly said that I was going to be stinking rich when he passes away. He retorted that he's never forgiven me for rear-ending his car six years ago, and because of this, I'll never see a penny of his money. FML
Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
rhyleigh 1
I would actually be happy that he gave you something personal.
mike3775 39
LOL You may think it sucks, but at least grandpa had a sense of humor. Sure it may seem like it sucks, but really, I think its hilarious. Let the negative votes reign supreme, as I know its coming. But unlike others, I like having a sense of humor and having fun in life, and wait till I die and see what I left for my kids when they read my will(which my wife thinks is hilarious)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (159)
rhyleigh 1
I would actually be happy that he gave you something personal.
genesisnirvana 11
blow up sex doll > $400
Ugi 27
Something personal, and hopefully washed!
chrispyy21 0
creem on da feat of it
garrettsgirl 0
hahahahaha who says you cant have humor when your dead lol
MrSassypants 34
36 no one. Who actually says that quote?
hutch66 13
Yeah. Look on the bright side OP. At least your grandpa had a great sense of humor.
arlekin21 0
well at least he didnt give you his prostethic leg from that baseball game
pixieyy 0
your grandpa sounds like he was a legend!
imosim 0
step 1: blow up doll. step 2: ???? step 3: PROFIT!
Uraharas_Bankai 1
Well OP's grandpa wants him to be the most happy and obviously cares a lot about his enjoyment in life
glenzhao2 16
Gramps got the last laugh. I'd be happy, to me it seems like you two were closer than your siblings were to him, but that's just me.
NecroParade 3
You know... There's a certain point when personal becomes creepy.
coltsluvr123 2
lol maybe grandpa meant something by it
tjv3 10
I would take it as meaning he thought more of you than the others since he left them just money, but he thought about one last way to make a joke for you. sorry for your loss
stro88 6
he wanted to keep it in the family hahaha. spray it with sanitizer an youre on your merry way.
scrapmetal58 9
An 82 that point has yet to be reached.
FuniiBunii 0
Maybe inside the doll there Is $800 ;) and ur grandpa wanted 2 give it 2 u in a secret way cuz ur special ;) hehe
spollywollyolly 3
awkward lol
nahgemoohc 17
Well,might as well make full use of it;)
Rosehart 10
That was one funny grandpa, sucks for you though
OWNZ 0
Are you kidding!?!? Its like a million times better than $400!!! ;)
ImAHomosexual 0
^ And 1000000 x 400 = $400,000,000!!!!!!!!!!!???!?!!??!!!!! You're a ******* millionaire!!!
Tommananaze6T9 4
yea id be hapoy with that and i had a grandpa that funny
rogergraton 0
maybe grandpa left a little bit of himself in it
mike3775 39
LOL You may think it sucks, but at least grandpa had a sense of humor. Sure it may seem like it sucks, but really, I think its hilarious. Let the negative votes reign supreme, as I know its coming. But unlike others, I like having a sense of humor and having fun in life, and wait till I die and see what I left for my kids when they read my will(which my wife thinks is hilarious)
barrelroll1472 0
you get negative votes because of the little rant, other than that your comment was fine
biasedshooter 24
I don't think it sucks, he didn't buy the attachment
saga_darlin 0
he didnt get negative votes o_O
iSitt 0
unless it's used
bitchslapped22 14
He got the opposite of negative votes
iDONTNO54 0
what did you put in the will? :D
ryjoy12 0
nuetral votes?
Arthurie 30
149 - The opposite of negative is positive.. not neutral.
icanhazblivions 1
well at least he thought about you specifically
Metal_Chick 15
Exactly^^. Op you may think your life sucks because you didn't get $400 like everyone else. But what you don't realize is that there is way more to money, maybe you were your grandpa's favorite and you should appreciate his gift to you no matter what it is.
haydencisahoss 6
What if it is a $400 blow up doll?
Metal_Chick 15
97- Are you in that 54%? lol
that1guyyy 12
you could make much more than $400 renting it out to lonely losers
cumverg 0
Well, to be fair, sex dolls are very expensive... Besides, $400 is pocket change in comparison to much larger inheritances.
knights95 9
Let's hope the grandpa broke it in. ?
Squrril 0
true
doom2 8
your grandpa was awesome :) but hey, at least you got something :)
Ugi 27
To be fair, that is pretty funny!
venusvsmars 2
have a sense of humor
darkch0colate 0
I woulda spent my $400 on one anyways