Today, my family got together to read my grandpa's will. He gave all of his grandkids $400 each. Except me. It seems he thought I'd see the funny side in being bequeathed a blow-up sex doll. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because, "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML
Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML
Today, my aunts found grandpa's will, which left everything to me and nothing to them, and his lawyer confirmed on the phone this was definitely grandpa's wish. My entire family now hate me and think I manipulated him. My grandpa has hated me my entire life, so I think this is his way of punishing me. FML
Today, I was at the reading of my grandma's will. Apparently I was removed from it some time ago, and the £2,500 I would have gotten went to my cheating bitch of an ex-fiancée. It seems my grandma adored her, and never forgave me for "driving her away" from the family. FML
Today, I found out that when my uncle died, he left me and the rest of my family £2000 each. Only my parents kept and spent my share on themselves. FML
Today, my grandpa died suddenly. About a month ago, he gifted me a few thousand dollars to buy a used car. My uncle is now demanding I return it, saying I can't prove that my grandfather agreed to it, and that he wants his rightful share of the inheritance. FML
Today, my grandpa told my mom that he needs to rewrite his will soon. I jokingly said that I was going to be stinking rich when he passes away. He retorted that he's never forgiven me for rear-ending his car six years ago, and because of this, I'll never see a penny of his money. FML
Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML
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Top comments
rhyleigh 1
I would actually be happy that he gave you something personal.
mike3775 39
LOL You may think it sucks, but at least grandpa had a sense of humor. Sure it may seem like it sucks, but really, I think its hilarious. Let the negative votes reign supreme, as I know its coming. But unlike others, I like having a sense of humor and having fun in life, and wait till I die and see what I left for my kids when they read my will(which my wife thinks is hilarious)
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Comments (159)
Zaros_fml 24
Maybe it was a $400 sex doll.
justalilrandom2 4
113, and you haven't been on long enough to respond to a relevant comment. The comment you responded to was not a response to boners, thus making you seem like the FNG here.
birdie013 0
he must of made that will when 400 was a lot
monsterbeats_fml 9
Maybe he thought you weren't getting any...
situations 3
a sex doll? fun grandpa lol
ThreeSheetsGone 12
So what's the doll's name?
KiDEaZe 0
lol ah your Grandpa definitely knows how to have fun.
MrSassypants 34
Well it also makes sense here so that's why I thought that. Geez.
lizliz23 0
boy or girl ? ( the dol)
bankrupt 15
When he finally died all I could think was, "Thank God that bastard is dead." I had to make an appearance at his funeral, where I got to hear from everyone else all about what a wonderful man he was and how devastated I must be to lose him, so apparently he was a real prince to everyone but me.