Today, my family got together to read my grandpa's will. He gave all of his grandkids $400 each. Except me. It seems he thought I'd see the funny side in being bequeathed a blow-up sex doll. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because, "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML
Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML
Today, my aunts found grandpa's will, which left everything to me and nothing to them, and his lawyer confirmed on the phone this was definitely grandpa's wish. My entire family now hate me and think I manipulated him. My grandpa has hated me my entire life, so I think this is his way of punishing me. FML
Today, I was at the reading of my grandma's will. Apparently I was removed from it some time ago, and the £2,500 I would have gotten went to my cheating bitch of an ex-fiancée. It seems my grandma adored her, and never forgave me for "driving her away" from the family. FML
Today, I found out that when my uncle died, he left me and the rest of my family £2000 each. Only my parents kept and spent my share on themselves. FML
Today, my grandpa died suddenly. About a month ago, he gifted me a few thousand dollars to buy a used car. My uncle is now demanding I return it, saying I can't prove that my grandfather agreed to it, and that he wants his rightful share of the inheritance. FML
Today, my grandpa told my mom that he needs to rewrite his will soon. I jokingly said that I was going to be stinking rich when he passes away. He retorted that he's never forgiven me for rear-ending his car six years ago, and because of this, I'll never see a penny of his money. FML
Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML
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Top comments
rhyleigh 1
I would actually be happy that he gave you something personal.
mike3775 39
LOL You may think it sucks, but at least grandpa had a sense of humor. Sure it may seem like it sucks, but really, I think its hilarious. Let the negative votes reign supreme, as I know its coming. But unlike others, I like having a sense of humor and having fun in life, and wait till I die and see what I left for my kids when they read my will(which my wife thinks is hilarious)
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Comments (159)
jadenstigman 0
well in the end ru gonna remember someone who gave u a few hundred bucks or a blow up doll. The dead guy obviously had a good sense of humor
Capt_Oblivious 10
The gift that keeps on giving. Enjoy it, I'm sure grandpa did.
bankrupt 15
Well OP, I think it sucks that you were singled out for a humiliating sex toy as a bequeathment from someone who should have loved you but apparently didn't. Nothing says "You are the one I didn't like" quite like getting a piece of garbage while your peers get cold hard cash. When my grandmother died she left all of her grandchildren money and had very specific instructions on who got which pieces of jewelry and which pieces of Lenox, of which she owned a ton and most of it quite old and valuable. I got no money, one tiny piece of Lenox and a costume bracelet which were bequeathed to me only because she feared if she left me absolutely nothing it would give me grounds to sue the others for an equitable share. By leaving me a pittance she left me with no legal recourse. Pathetic. Like I would have sued them over it. I would have just done what I did; walk away. I understand grandparents loving some grandchildren more than others; we are humans and we all gravitate toward some people more than others based on a myriad of variables. That is normal. But I do not understand showing such blatant favoritism that, even in death, they can't stop themselves from taking one last pot shot at the less favored. I am sorry your grandfather died, OP, but I am sorrier that he died not liking you.
allenye818 2
what the f are you talking about
LilysTillie 7
Nothing in the FML indicated he wasn't loved by his grandpa. Seriously, get over yourself....by your self righteous comments and apparent attitude the everyone owes you something, I completely understand why you weren't give an equal share. You're bitterness & negativity was likely well known by your grandma & she was probably trying to teach you a lesson, which clearly didn't work!!!!!
bankrupt 15
111 and 121, you are both idiots. By giving the OP nasty garbage and the others cash, the grandfather is implicitly stating that he didn't like the OP. To use 'stupid' language so you two imbeciles can understand, by ******** on the OP he is showing the OP that he was the unfavored one without actually saying, "OP, I just never liked you." Actions speak louder than words and can sometimes be more hurtful. You can show someone you don't like them without saying it. Think of how you would feel if you went to a barbeque and everyone got a nice, juicy steak and you had a hot dog tossed at you and the cook said, "Thought you'd think this was funny." If you don't understand that the cook doesn't like you without saying the actual words, "I don't like you" then you are so far beyond stupid that I fear for you. This is known as "nonverbal communication" and you both suck at it You will spend your lives being manipulated by others who are smarter than you, which apparently is everyone.
bankrupt 15
How can a baby be negative, 121? This started when I was age two. How can a child who was completely silent other than answering when spoken to be considered negative? You're the ******* self-righteous idiot. Let me explain it since you think you know it all but you are actually so stupid I am afraid you don't know to pull your pants down BEFORE you shit. Some families have members who identify one person as the one they are going to shit on and attack. My great grandfather preceded me in that role. When he committed suicide, probably from being abused by his own children, they were looking for their next victim. My mom, fearing it would be her, threw her two-year-old daughter (me) under the bus. I was the DREAM child. I was smart, I did my chores and homework without complaint, I never even considered doing drugs, drinking, smoking or having sex, I obeyed orders and I kept my trap shut. Parents would do anything to have a kid who was as good as I was. But I was the one who had been identified as the next target, and nothing could change it. I know it's hard for your pathetic, stupid, worthless little mind to try to wrap itself around this concept, but sometimes GOOD kids get shit on for no reason. It's called 'bullying' and it goes on all the time. You are probably one of the bullies, which is why you are defending them. It is typical of bullies to side with each other and blame the victims.
Kiki19968 0
i think id like to live tht way
AntoshaChekhonte 6
This sounds exactly like something my grandpa would have done if he hadn't died when I was very young. I'm 21 now and still meet people who ask me if I'm Dean's grandkid. When I say yes, they tell me great stories about the wonderful man he was (and some are very similar to this). I'm told that our senses of humor are exactly the same. I would have had a last laugh with him in this situation, I think. It sucks that you didn't get a measly $400 (seriously, I work at Walmart part-time and have larger checks than that), but maybe your grandpa saw something special in you that made him want to share some laughs. Maybe he was just a jerk. We can't say, but maybe your grandpa wasn't the inconsiderate one in this situation.
mikaylaraymond 0
lolol well atleast you have a new toy now!!
Yousuck24 21
He probably means 10,000 cents.
plebeianFelix 5
best. heirloom. ever.
Yousuck24 21
In monopoly money?
smartypants96 3
at least he had a sence of humor, sorry about your grandpa though:(