Today, after far too many times of my brother stealing food out of my own personal mini fridge, I bought a lock and chained the handles together. I came back to find that my brother had responded by breaking the doors off their hinges. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was fed up with things being taken from my room so I installed a key-locking handle on my door. I installed everything but the door knobs, and because I was worried that I would put the two of them on backwards, I closed the door to check. I'm now locked in my room. FML
Today, I was in my backyard. When I wanted to come back in the house, I tried to open the sliding door. I knew that my brother locked me out so I banged on the door very hard, causing the glass to break. It turns out that the door wasn't locked. FML
Today, I slept through my alarm and decided to call in sick. After falling back asleep, I woke up to my younger brother robbing my kitchen. It seems he's been doing this for weeks, every time I leave for work. He won't even give it all back. FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML
Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML
Today, I got locked out of my house. After trying unsuccessfully to jimmy the lock, I managed to climb in through the kitchen window. I soon found out I had an effect on the door after all; it won't open at all any more, even with the right key. FML
Today, some asshat thought it would be funny to put a second lock on my locker. FML
Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML
Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML
Today, I stole my brother's fuzzy slippers for the day as I usually do. Too bad he had been anticipating this and had left a mouse trap in one of them. FML
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Top comments
ambeerr 14
either a) talk to him and tell him to stop or b) break his bedroom door off its hinges and see what he does.
The_25th_Baam 3
I would probably put spoiled food in there, let him learn OP!
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Comments (86)
jbjrox92 13
wow dude i would legit punch my brother in his face if he did that to my shit
_EnderDoge 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You need to get the police or something about this. This isn't tolerable.
awildwhisper 30
That seems a lot excessive for a sibling breaking a mini fridge.
Dale_shackleford 13
Wtf would the police do about that? Tell the brother to stop being a jerk when they could be responding to real problems?
hellobobismyname 24
Police would just consider this a family dispute. I once tried to run away cuz my dad threatened to kill me, and when the cops got called due to my dad trying to drag me into his car, they told me I had to go back home and there was nothing they could do, because "it was a family dispute." Imagine calling them about a broken mini fridge, lol. They'd just get mad at OP.
heatintolerant 12
#49 They called it a family dispute? I feel like that is possible child abuse (prob not a phrase used by police) or disturbance of peace (when someone unlawfully tries to disrupt your happiness in life).
hellobobismyname 24
#73 - I couldn't prove he made the threat, and my dad spun it around on me saying I was lying and just trying to run away so I can do drugs and have sex. He didn't actually beat me or hurt me so I guess they didn't consider it abuse. They got mad at me for being disobedient. Thus, "family dispute." Just sent us home to solve it ourselves.
The_25th_Baam 3
I would probably put spoiled food in there, let him learn OP!
chrisbeaudoin 26
Either put spoiled foods, extremely spicy sauce, or a food he hates.
SpyroMello 29
Or sugar free food. My mom used to buy sweets and my brother and I would eat them. Then she bought sugar free sweets (I was little and didn't know the difference) and ate them. Got the ***** and ever since then I trust nothing my mom buys nor sugar free sweets...
Danne696 14
The problem with only putting spoiled food in the fridge is that OP himself can't enjoy it then. Might as well give up and throw the fridge away. Honestly I don't see a good solution, OP's brother have clearly shown that he doesn't give a **** what OP thinks or wants. I mean, it's pretty much impossible to not get the hint after the fridge have been chained up and locked..
Lalala579121 28
The best solution really is just to hide with a baseball bat and wait for him to come.
deltax 8
laxatives.
LARC_UoGuelph 9
You should break the arms off his shoulders.
joethebro98 13
That escalated quickly
ambeerr 14
either a) talk to him and tell him to stop or b) break his bedroom door off its hinges and see what he does.
davedp3 4
I would like to encourage violence.
Murilirum 23
I vote for b.
zman938 8
Both
Jurbla 14
I kinda wonder why you think someone who doesn't get the hint after finding a lock on something that isn't theirs, to the point they feel so entitled to it that they break someone else's property, only needs to be talked to in order to get the hint.
Qandol 26
I guess when you live with family nothing is only yours because it's ours. Your brother sucks OP.
Odin1624 12
Slip some laxatives in the food, problem solved
chosha_fml 27
He's already shown he comes back harder. Might not be a good idea.
Steephx0 23
If all goes according to plan, OP's brother will be stuck in the bathroom for a long time
chrisbeaudoin 26
If you plan this out and spend time on it, take the toilet paper out of the bathroom and he definitely won't be happy.
awildwhisper 30
He's very dedicated, we can give him that.
chosha_fml 27
What an asshole. Any chance your parents would make him buy you a new fridge?
yerawizardlizzy 27
...And also tell him to back the hell off while they're at it?
BoxFullOfLazy 25
That's cool. Break his face in return.