Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my three year old daughter pointed at an African-American girl and yelled out “She’s ugly because she’s black!” Me and my wife got dirty looks for the entire rest of our meal. We have no idea where she learned that. FML
Today, I went out to eat at a restaurant. When the waitress saw me, she continously told me how beautiful and kind I was. Flattered, I just said thank you. Five minutes later, one of the ugliest girls I've ever seen in my life walked in. The waitress told her the same exact things she told me. FML
Today, my boss at my new job asked whether I was fitting in OK. The company is Swedish, so as a joke, I said that at home I now serve all my food as a smorgasbord, chew on fermented herring and Daim chocolate bars, and buy all my furniture at Ikea. She didn't see the funny side. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML
Today, my sister and I saw a guy with a terrible nose job coming up the bus. She said to me, "Look how ugly that guy is" in our native tongue. The man sat down right in front of us, took his phone out, and started talking our language. FML
Today, I was at brunch when I heard a table of women laughing loudly and swearing. I went over and politely told them that their language was unattractive and unladylike. They laughed like hyenas and cussed me out until I walked back to my table. At this rate, I’ll never find a decent wife. FML
Today, my family and I were visiting an aunt. While helping my aunt to set the table, my sister remarked that from behind I look exactly like her. I reflexively blurted out, "Well fuck you too." Very awkward silence. FML
Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML
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Top comments
KenMcGormick 0
that's what you get for trying to be smart
Jaywin 3
I did that before when someone thought they were being clever talking mess about me in Spanish. It's a good way to knock someone down a peg.
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Comments (498)
Tihihi1 0
ok, talking in different laguages is really great, it makes you smarter. i speak english, french(my dads french) and swedish(my mums polish but has lived here since she was 5) and am learning spanish. i used to no malaysian and tagalog (my nannies were phillipina and malaysian) and arabic (i used to live in dubai and muscat.) speaking many languages makes u smarter and helps you understand more about other people and cultures. knowing many languages is NOT an excuse to trash talk and does not make u better than anyone else, especially if u trash talk. ur self confidence is probably really bad and thats y u said that but you still totally deserved that, i would have been way meaner to you. thats happened loads of times wen i've been in france (i talk english every where cuz its my first language) when kids and adults trash talked about me ( i was about 13 the last time i was there) i wish i had talked back to them, but my mama raised me better. #137 ur totally right, everyone speaks english here, so im not stupid enough to talk trash about the slutty lokking fjortis next to me :P lol
Tihihi1 0
btw, america doesn't belong to english speakers, they stole the land from native americans, so anyone has the right to speak what ever the hell language they want and anyone who says otherwise is a rasist hypocrit douche that should have paid more attention in history class cuz i've never even been to america and no that. assholes.
Kylebeans 0
Bahaa, That's Karma for you!
Mylife_cant_suck 0
Epic fail! i hope someone kicks your ass next time you do that my only regret is that it wont be me:(... STUPID PRICK
pogostick_fml 2
Everyone's acting like they never talked trash about anyone EVER. Honestly, half of you guys would turn to your friend and say something if some ugly 16 yr old scene kid walked by sucking a soother.
Rollercoaster_fml 0
Hah... rätt fint hur snabbt karma kan återställa balansen...
Godless25 0
if your gonna talk about someone, have the balls to say it to their face, or at least in a language they can understand. If your speaking in a language no one knows and your talking about everyone around you, sorry, thats just cowardly, seems like your afraid of what they might do if they hear you.
Kamicase 0
Although I love to do that by my own, when you're honest in your language don't be surprised when you get caught in your language. ^^
BloodWolf_fml 0
Oh! I love listening to people talk since I can understand three languages outside of English, and two more to the extent of hearing people talk smack. Since I don't look much like the Polish side of my family it is always interesting to hear what Polish people have to say about me. Usually I'm lucky with them though... An Italian guy's grandmother would do the same as you guys did. Except they lived in an Italian neighborhood and she didn't seem to realize that or care. So he was always turning red and telling her to keep it down. My grandmother sometimes does the same in Polish, although we usually get lucky since the people are Russian and can't understand everything she says. Phew! :)
12mp04 0
You deserved it