Today, my ex-boyfriend sent me an email that read, "How to lose 25lbs". I was eating a large slice of pie when I opened the email. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML
Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend who dumped me after 2 1/2 years because I got fat. The last two years I've lost 68 lbs, am happier and couldn't wait to shove that in his face. So, of course the first time he sees me I'm alone, I'm pushing a shopping cart full of ice cream for a party later. FML
Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML
Today, I sent my sister a text about how fat I was becoming and looking as disgusting as my ex-husband. When I checked to see if she had received it I saw that I had accidentally sent it to my ex-father in law. FML
Today, my boyfriend used a laser pointer to show me where I needed to lose weight. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, after my ex helped me drop over a hundred pounds, I broke up with him because I looked and felt so much better, and knew I could do better. Turns out he was the only thing keeping me slim, as I've put back on over twenty pounds. I asked him to take me back and he told me to fuck off. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I've recently become serious about getting fit, and have lost nearly 84 pounds. Apparently, when I was fat, I made her look smaller in comparison. When I got slimmer, she insisted I either gain the weight back or she'd leave. So she did. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years dumped me, after he intentionally made me fat so that I wouldn't leave him. FML
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Top comments
spursunited 19
I guess we know why he's an ex
megs925 16
You should send him one back reading "how to **** off"
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Comments (120)
jessmonkey 15
Am I the only one who wants pie meow.....?
omgitsmoe 26
I think how to grow in size would be a deadly comeback
SaintJin 8
Send him an email "how to grow your d*ck 2 inches"
petunia723 12
Send one back for natural male enhancement.
Brandon1000 10
YDI fat pig
Dolanium 13
Do I ******* care
Manic1 13
Send him one back for how to be better in bed.
CaroLouWho 10
It sounds like the only weight you needed to lose was 180 or whatever pounds of douchebag, and clearly you already did that. Enjoy your pie, my dear. Pie never criticizes or insults. Pie loves you the way you are. Pie understands.
vasili123 5
Send him an email on how to make his penis bigger
SLdeej 11
If you eat large slices of pie like that frequently, no wonder you're overweight. And although it sucks, because of that, you deserve it. You brought it on yourself.