Today, my escape artist of a dog got out. She not only chased someone else's cat into someone else's house, but promptly defecated all over their living room floor out of excitement. That's one way to meet the new neighbors. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML
Today, I discovered my cat is bathroom shy when I accidentally walked in on him relieving himself. He jumped about 3 feet in the air and bolted out, launching feces and pee all over the bathroom, hallway, and my shoes. FML
Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet for a regular check-up. In the waiting room, she escaped from her carrier and created chaos, knocking over supplies, and hissing at everyone. FML
Today, I went searching for my cat who'd escaped. Of course, I searched the entire building and somehow she'd got back in through my front door of my apartment. FML
Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML
Today, I found out my dog is a felon. He broke into a neighbor's house by breaking in through the screen door. He also vandalized their property by shitting on their carpet. Our neighbors are now considering suing us. FML
Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
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Top comments
iLike2Teabag 27
Oh thank god. I thought I was the only one who defecates when I'm excited.
person961 9
If I was your neighbor I would be more amazed than angry. How the hell does a dog chase a cat into another persons house? Offer to clean the mess for them, show you can be a kind person and I'm sure they'll relax a little if they're mad.
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Comments (75)
littlekellilee 45
At least she didn't catch the cat! Hopefully your neighbors can laugh it off once it's cleaned up.
energizerbunny23 18
The Harry Houdini of dogs
91hayek 31
More like Hairy Houndini!
lengi123 18
Quick with his paws
boostedc 24
Animals are sooooo cute (;
Amranih 20
best way to welcome ur new neighbors
cakefete2 31
Actually, i can think of better ways.
pjsr 33
Excellent illustration of the fact that not all dogs go to heaven
garebear61 14
May want to consider reinforcing your fence if thats how he is escaping. If not then good luck because some animals are just crafty.
alycion 39
I have chicken wire attached to my fence and buried a foot below. The fence is 8 foot. He still tunneled out. Had to run a zap fence to border it even though I hate those things. One zap and he leaves everything alone. The fence is actually turned off now. But I figure an electric shock to the nose is safer then getting hit by a car. I even have a GPS on his collar do I know if he escapes. I guess the fence isn't as horrible as I think it is. The rescue knows I have it and I had to turn it on for a few days for a foster. I asked them first. Same thing. One zap and they leave it be. I'm hoping to redo my fence this summer with a foot of cement underground. Huskies are known escape artists and reading this reminded me of when Sid opened the door and chased the cats on my street. I now have hoop locks on my screen door.
underthesea12 24
good fences make good neighbors.
LostInTheZone11 29
I'm with #27 get a fence and a sturdy hitching pole so she can wander without getting loose.
jackycat 17
Yes ,so the dog can strangle itself trying to chase something next time. Carpets can be cleaned, neighbors avoided or appeased, but dead beloved pets are forever.
TheDrifter 24
Have you never seen a leash? Are you unfamiliar with how they work? Or are you just one of those PETA sort of people who believes they're cruel and revels in the smell of animal feces in your house?
LostInTheZone11 29
You never heard of an automatic leash? The dog would have plenty of room to run around and the leash adjusts its length accordingly.
kl08 12
should've known better with a dog with that much energy. I've learned my lesson about leaving the windows rolled up while driving!
alycion 39
Do you perhaps have a northern breed of some sort, op? That's a husky move if ever I heard one lol