Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML
gassymomma tells us more.
Op here, I really didn't expect this to get posted. I'm 8 months pregnant so gas has become part of my daily life. I don't normal mind admitting to it but he was so worried about making sure I was safe I didn't have the heart to tell him it was just gas that scared him. Later that day while we were just sitting on the couch I farted again and he made a joke that there must be a whale at the window.
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Top comments
AutumnHerondale 14
Sometimes, honesty isn't the best policy.
Welshite 40
The burglar was an excuse. He was really checking the house for exposed flames or electrical circuits.
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Comments (108)
AutumnHerondale 14
Sometimes, honesty isn't the best policy.
gabbi630 16
They could just had laugh it of and then gone back to sleep. A good marriage can take it.
euphoricness 28
One time I farted and then everyone died. The end.
Shelly_Kelly 6
sounds like a "#farty" situation #lol
IndicaPaincakes 28
Shoot, that stinks.
sweetest_jenn 18
Maybe he knows and is being a gentleman, sparing you the embarrassment. And I'll be honest, I've done this before. And sadly, more than once...so don't feel bad, OP.
garebear61 14
When my girlfriend farts in front of me she pretends like nothing ever happened. lol
TisAPenguin 16
If your husband can't handle knowing that you simply farted OR you're too embarrassed to tell the man you've chosen to spend the rest of your life with that you farted, why the hell are you two together?
TheCanucklehead 22
#69 -
lylotrezor 20
69, it wasn't just a fart. It was The Fart.
ruxtain 15
What a gentleman he is if so..
Fatwahhh 10
Explain to me how a fart sounds like someone breaking in
sweetprettykitty 10
Probably didn't hear the 'fart' noise, and just assumed the noise that woke him up was a robber. I know when I wake up in the middle of the night I don't necessarily know exactly what I woke up from.
ThatSlappinBass 32
Challenge accepted. Maybe OP's husband was in that weird stage between sleep and dreaming, and OP's monstrous fart startled him out from that state. Maybe he was dreaming about a break in, and because he was half asleep, the sound didn't register right and he tricked himself into thinking that there was someone pushing on the door or something. Bam. Or, OP's farts sound like shattering glass or other various robbery noises. In that case, OP should see a doctor. I happen to know a guy, he's a bastard, though.
gjikvtj 18
Maybe their fart was so high pitched it shattered glass
Joshwarrior 39
Whatever happened to docbastard? I haven't seen his comments in ages
Anonymous251989 1
oh god I miss docbastard his comments were always the greatest
Hiimhaileypotter 53
He's still floating around... Unless I'm mistaken, I saw him comment around 2-3 weeks ago. I don't get on the app much anymore though (due to lack of internet much of the time) and I don't stalk Doc, so I could be wrong! Haha.
ThomasBombadil 31
Boom goes the dynamite!
Welshite 40
The burglar was an excuse. He was really checking the house for exposed flames or electrical circuits.
Pussycat86 18
Looool, I was thinking maybe he wanted to leave the room and spare OP from further embarrassment when he turns pale from the smell!
Ali_Br_fml 33
You're so lucky he left the room before the stench of your fart spread to him. Well, actually he's the lucky one...
joopjoop 19
maybe that's secretly why he wanted to leave the room and he just made an excuse ;)
boostedc 24
Definitely mate ;)
cakefete2 31
Yeah, when his eyes started to water, he knew what happened. That's pretty quick thinking to come up with that excuse though.
worldclassrager 41
Well if someone was trying to break in you scared them off good job OP
tbro47 23
I think he's lying. He's trying to get out of the room before the smell kills him.
MelTheGreat 23
You've gotta own your farts! There should be no shame in your fart game...
MrZsDad 19
Yer full of shit!
DeadPixel4 29
Well that stinks.