Today, I heard a noise in my garage so I grabbed a baseball bat and went to look. The skunk I stirred was actually better armed than me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that we have six skunks under my shed. While I was mowing the lawn, they all came out and sprayed me. FML
Today, my dog ran away. It was dark, so I couldn't see very well, but I ran after him anyway. Thinking I had caught up to him, I grabbed him. It wasn't my dog. It was a skunk. FML
Today, I left my bedroom window open to let in some fresh air while I slept. A skunk got in and sprayed my room. FML
Today, I had my window opened slightly, without a screen behind it. I walked into the living room and smelled a skunk. I looked out the window and saw a skunk, so I quickly closed the window. However, it was too late. Before I could do so, it turned and sprayed me, a few meters of my house, and our front porch too. FML
Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML
Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML
Today, I tried to pet what I thought was a cute cat under my porch. As it turned out, it was actually a raccoon. It hissed at me, and I screamed so loud that my neighbors came running. FML
Today, I heard the sound of footsteps in the basement. Thinking it was burglars I grabbed a baseball bat and hurried down the stairs. I then tripped on the stairs, fell down them and smacked my head on the bat. The sound of footsteps I heard? It was my cat playing in some cardboard boxes. FML
Today, after my house almost got broken into last week, when I heard some noises in the kitchen I went to investigate. I saw a huge rat run across my floor, and nearly peed myself thinking it was an intruder. FML
Today, I was laying in bed when my sister came running in, scared. I took my bat and went into the kitchen where the suspicious noise was coming from. It was a rat, right in the middle of the floor. I jumped on the counter and shrieked, just as my girlfriend walked in, who then actually dealt with it. FML
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Top comments
bwoolf96 21
Most skunks carry around baseball bats these days so I'm not surprised he was better armed than you
syki 22
Pepe is always looking for love in all the wrong places.
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Comments (40)
syki 22
Pepe is always looking for love in all the wrong places.
ohSNAPyall 27
Are there paint cans in your garage, OP?
Subcontinent 14
Did horror movies not teach you not to go towards the mysterious noise?
arano 29
How can you not investigate a mysterious noise in your own home?
chuka81 27
And that mentality 5, is why the psycho murderer kills everybody.
TheNewGuy03 29
Well, in theory, you have two options: either find out what it is, or let it find YOU.
arano 29
advise* Also, I can only assume the garage was dark and OP didn't see it in time.
bwoolf96 21
Most skunks carry around baseball bats these days so I'm not surprised he was better armed than you
chuka81 27
The stink bomb alone is worse than any baseball bat.
Managodess 14
I didn't know we had skunks in Germany. Hope you got the smell out though
Ray_of_midnight 23
That was my first thought, skunks are native to North America. The name "skunk" comes from the Native American word for them.
lollypop30001 19
If you smell like skunk take a bath in tomato juice it will take the smell.
BlueBaronBitch 22
It gradually takes the smell, but you'll still smell it for a while sadly
bandaidstations 28
I can tell you from experience that all of those remedies only work a little bit. You'll still stink for awhile. Shit is strong!
SixthSinEnvy 39
Tomato juice mixed with lemon juice. The high acidity from the lemons helps penetrate through the oils in your skin that holds the smell.
kirkaygri 18
Vodka. The cheaper, the better. And not to drink. Mix it with a little water in a spray bottle and spray away. It got the skunk smell out of my kid sister's car. We made sure she didn't drive it until it completely dried... why does my car smell like weed and booze, officer? Well, funny story... the charcoal that is left in the vodka is what absorbs the smell, that's why the cheaper, the better, less filtered.
mattyiscool123 26
This was eventually deemed ineffective, I think it actually only works on dogs
d00z3r 8
That Stinks.....
ColonelCusswords 24
Maybe you shoulda gone with shield rather than sword
ColonelCusswords 24
Sorry in advance for my actions. I'm pretty ******* baked
Mightytall 35
Skunks in Bavaria? I have seen raccoons here, but if there are now also skunks running free in Germany, we are doomed!!!
CheekyRaccoon 27
Fear not because we will kill'em, we may stink in the end but it is because we won the war.
moosemay 16
this actually happened to me when I lived in the United States.
evanmurphy 14
#23 Really? There ain't skunks in Murica.