Today, my dog was all over me, and I couldn't help but notice she kept sniffing towards my boobs. Turns out, she wasn't there to get love from me. She was there for a piece of food that I didn't notice had fallen in my bra. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to chase my dog all the way down the street, watching in horror as she proudly showed all of my neighbors my bra. FML
Today, I thought I was home alone so I went to take a shower and left my door open. My dog came in, stole my bra, and ran out of my bathroom. I jumped out and followed him, only to find out that my brother had two of his friends over. They all saw me naked, and my dog had my bra in his mouth. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML
Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML
Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML
Today, I got home to find a pair of my dirty underwear (that were in the dirty clothes basket) in the middle of the living room. I must be delicious, because my dog was licking them. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML
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Top comments
Liamj774 36
Oh come on. How come when a dog does it, it's normal, but when I do it, it's considered sexual harassment?
Welshite 40
Her name is Gary isn't it.
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Comments (49)
arodven 18
At least it didn't fall into your pants.
Kiernan151 25
my friends dog sniffs there all the time, with anyone, male or female. it's annoying
greeneyedx 23
When I would watch my neighbours kids the dogs would always do that and I hated it so much. It's the most obnoxious thing. They didn't properly train their dogs, so you can imagine what that was like... Especially for someone that already doesn't like dogs.
onlychildFTW 34
That reminds me of a friends badly trained dog. Every time you went to pick something up he'd try to mount you. Didn't matter if they were a guy or girl. He'd just want to mount you. Thank god for clothes. Haha.
Welshite 40
Her name is Gary isn't it.
DumbWater 17
I feel sorry for anybody that doesn't get this.
nphill82 21
I don't.....
hufflepuffle 13
"I thought what we had was special!" -OP
fml510605 16
For any of you don't know what what #2 is talking about, it's from a Spongebob episode
Kiernan151 25
ugh I thumbed your comment down while trying to thumb it up. Can't change it, FML team should change that.
InsanePPG 25
I THOUGHT OF THAT TOO!
TheOneAndOnly5 12
I don't know what you expected, dogs aren't usually interested in the breasts of humans.
sstahpp 33
'usually'
Liamj774 36
Oh come on. How come when a dog does it, it's normal, but when I do it, it's considered sexual harassment?
I_Like_Dogs 28
Taking "sugartits" a bit too literally.
NYM88 26
It'd be more of an FML if it was your boyfriend and not your dog!
kibster9 20
Your dog was smelling your boo-bees
dutchy86 20
maybe your dog read this very reliable research article that touching boobs makes you feel relax.... it's a dogs life
beeferjay 34
thank your dog for helping to avoid boob cheese
TiroC 25
Oh please, food is love!