Today, my dog was all over me, and I couldn't help but notice she kept sniffing towards my boobs. Turns out, she wasn't there to get love from me. She was there for a piece of food that I didn't notice had fallen in my bra. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to chase my dog all the way down the street, watching in horror as she proudly showed all of my neighbors my bra. FML
Today, I thought I was home alone so I went to take a shower and left my door open. My dog came in, stole my bra, and ran out of my bathroom. I jumped out and followed him, only to find out that my brother had two of his friends over. They all saw me naked, and my dog had my bra in his mouth. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML
Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML
Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML
Today, I got home to find a pair of my dirty underwear (that were in the dirty clothes basket) in the middle of the living room. I must be delicious, because my dog was licking them. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML
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Top comments
Liamj774 36
Oh come on. How come when a dog does it, it's normal, but when I do it, it's considered sexual harassment?
Welshite 40
Her name is Gary isn't it.
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Comments (49)
TMWhisp 22
Surprise bra food is the breast there is!
iwanttogotoparis 26
Surprise
rainbowsRlove 15
ahh the old i-dont-know-how-that-peanutbutter-got-there trick priceless
HateMe666 8
Lol sounds like big boobs problems. Losing food to your shirt and bra and never noticing it's gone.
ladycoco8 20
I relate completely. Big boobs and low cut shirts = automatic hideaway. I can't tell you the number of times I've had to pull popcorn out of my shirt lol.
dutchy86 20
sounds like you are a very relaxt girl :)
FitFriday 32
It's worse when people try to throw stuff in there
shemademedoit 20
#28 you would like that wouldn't you
ladycoco8 20
Yes! it's horrible. In middle school, during my development, boys would always wad up pieces of paper and try to throw them down while sitting at my desk.
FitFriday 32
Well, that is better than clay or colored pencils
GavinP99 10
Yeah I hate it when I accidentally put peanut butter on my dick. And whistle for the dog
sstahpp 33
You took it too far..
fml510605 16
Did anyone else think of Spongebob when they read this??
InsanePPG 25
Yes.
TeasinDaNoobs 16
I didnt understand this fml at first then i went back realized you said boobs and not boots
JohnEvans 3
That dog is getting more action than me
captainsmegma 12
Tittie treats. Get your ass to shark tank and claim your millions.