Today, I had to ride in the back seat of a car, next to a large, hyperactive dog who experiences nervous bowel movements. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML
Today, my dog pooped. In my lap. While I was driving. FML
Today, I spent five hours in the back seat of a car with two dogs. Both had been sprayed by a skunk earlier in the day. One had a gas problem. FML
Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I stayed in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML
Today, I had to spend a long bus ride with my chest pressed against the window, because some mammoth of a woman decided to squeeze her double wide ass into my seat. FML
Today, my dog was riding my car's passenger seat. He clambered over onto my lap, causing me to lose control of the wheel for a few seconds. As I tried to knock him off me, I lost track of my speed, and ended up being pulled over for reckless driving. FML
Today, after frolicking in some long grass near a lake, my dog got back in the car smelling strongly of poop. Upon further investigation, I discovered that a sewer had overflowed in the area. My dog rolled around in human faeces. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up from school. It was an unusually sweet gesture from him, and I was flattered. That is, until he told me to sit my ass in the back, so his dog could ride in front with him. FML
Today, I was working with some shelter puppies transporting them to the vet's. I got all of the puppies in but one, and when I went to pull him out, I realized he had gotten car sick. Before I could stop it happening, he wagged his vomit-covered tail and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart next to my brother in the car. Apparently, his carsickness is exacerbated by strong smells. I now know what it feels like to have lap full of vomit. FML
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Top comments
davidpropert 32
You should have shit your pants so the dog wouldn't feel so self conscious
FalloutScrolls 25
I dunno, dude. At least a child would have a couple layers of clothing to hold it in.
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Comments (31)
_guy_j 12
That's a shitty situation!
KatieKoala 19
How poopy
amileah13 26
Talk about a miserable ride. Sorry op :(
Anthonymm2 20
Could be worse. Could be a hyperactive child who is experiencing nervous bowel movements.
FalloutScrolls 25
I dunno, dude. At least a child would have a couple layers of clothing to hold it in.
davidpropert 32
You should have shit your pants so the dog wouldn't feel so self conscious
KayDee29 31
This comment made my day.
MrSassypants 34
Nervous bowel movements? Whatever you do, don't let your dog do stand-up comedy. "How many dogs does it take to screw a light bulb? Let's paws and think about it. Get it? Not funny? Damn I really gotta take a shit now."
rileyrae0000 23
Can't decide if this is funny or corny
beeferjay 34
it's technically smelly and sad
MrSassypants 34
#8 I knew that joke was a hit or miss when I made it and I guess did I missed, and boy, I missed it. If this was an apple on the head shooting contest I would be doing 25 to life.
UH60 26
Please stop.
MrSassypants 34
Okey dokey.
beeferjay 34
I just threw up a little, in my mouth
Schizomaniac 24
Sounds like a shitty situation.
Angsty_Armadillo 25
Shitty...
worldclassrager 41
I'll break the line of shit comments that I see