Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog died. I spent ages digging him a grave and buried him in the garden so that my dad wouldn't have to deal with the stress when he got home from work. When my dad got home he told me that he had wanted the dog to be cremated. I have just had to dig up my dog's body. FML
Today, my dog died. My parents told me to bury it out back. In the process, I managed to dig up my cat. FML
Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML
Today, I found out that my grandmother desecrated my grandfather's grave. 14 years after his death, she dug up his body and had him cremated so that she could sell his plot back to the cemetery for money. I was the one who found out so I had to tell the rest of the family. FML
Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML
Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML
Today, a colleague was talking about how she'd made some tomato sauce from scratch for her dad, but then he died before she could give it to him. I said she should have put it in the casket with him so the cremation would've been a real barbeque. My filter is broken. FML
Today, I went to this coffee shop in town that has a fire pit outdoors with my boyfriend. I threw out the idea of sitting by the fire together, and he responded by telling me that his father and dog died in a house fire when he was young. FML
Today, my dog showed me her latest kill. Too bad it was the stuffed animals my dead grandmother had given me as a child that had a lot of sentimental value to me. FML
Today, I told my daughter that we were going to the beach. Today, my daughter also tried to dig up our deceased dog, who we buried in our back yard last week, so he could come along. FML
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Top comments
GracesDelirium 9
That was barbaric of him. I'm so sorry OP, that must have been an awful thing for you to see. FYL.
charvisioku 22
And this, children, is what we call a redneck funeral.
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Comments (102)
Pleonasm 36
Stupid computer lag making me double post. Feel free to cremate this comment
ManInTheMachine 20
He di'nt want no good meat to go to waste . Murrica's in a re-session, y'know. Ain't nothin' like an' ol' fashioned cree-mation with some BBQ sawse o'er a home made farr.
danivolley64 10
This comment made my day :) Thank you sir.
CrazyManNo9 29
I don't think there is a need for peeling. This whole thread made my skin crawl up off me and run away. Seriously, dude. Really? Really Really? Just stop. NOW!
tsent8 15
Pengaween put that there squirreel on the Farr and get me somemore beer.
CallmeRyuzaki 0
There's gonna be a lot of hotdog jokes coming up I'm guessing. But seriously that's ****** up.
TurquoiseJesus 15
Personally, i was expecting some Asian jokes.
fmirza95 4
That's how you do it in good ol' Texas.
elletex 8
No, it's not how we do it.
vincelu09 11
Sorry to hear, at least your grandpa's heart was in the right place
tacojauns 45
Apparently your grandfather doesn't know the difference between cooking and cremating
Misswildsides 22
Maybe that's how people cremated "back in the day"...?
perdix 31
You should hope you were walking in on an attempted cremation. If Gramps had made a mopping sauce and was icing down some beers, you might have uncovered a Texas Bar-B-Q secret you wish you had never known about.
perdix 31
My Texas Bar-B-Q secret is that before I cook it, I pound my meat mercilessly. But, then again, I do that even when I'm not cooking at all . . . heeeeeey-yooooo!
debbster7 18
At least he listened to you...?
toalysium 15
It's a dog! Did you seriously expect him to take her to a funeral home and pay $1,000 or more for a cremation?
Ameel_fml 19
Why not? Plenty of vets and even some funeral places cremate pets. It's not unusual at all. And it certainly doesn't cost $1000.
Enslaved 38
Why not bury her like most normal people would? . . . Did "Pet Sematary" scare you too? My cat looks like Church! "The ground is sour!"
ManInTheMachine 20
Did you mean *Cemetery, Enslaved?
charvisioku 22
No actually, it's a Stephen King book and it's spelled with an S because kids made the sign for it. Sorry, your spelling correction is invalid ;)
perdix 31
#26, No, she means "Sematary." That is the way Stephen King spelled it on his novel. Enslaved is defiantly right this time.
ManInTheMachine 20
Oh, okay. That's why I was asking, really. I've never seem the movie (or read the book), only heard of it. :)
Enslaved 38
This is true. It's spelt with an "S"! Damn King ******* with my already difficult time spelling the English language!!!
jablome 6
Enslaved, My cat looks quite a bit like Church, too. He's a Russian Blue. If my kids ever watched the movie, I think they might become a little wary of their cat.
Enslaved 38
40, No Noor, perdix "definitely" meant "defiantly". I get those two spellings mixed up ALL the time. :P Eye'm n id-ee-it sumtimes!
jackien1 6
Definitely