Today, a colleague was talking about how she'd made some tomato sauce from scratch for her dad, but then he died before she could give it to him. I said she should have put it in the casket with him so the cremation would've been a real barbeque. My filter is broken. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML
Today, I thought my coworker had confided to me that a close friend had died too soon, but it turns out she'd just ruined an expensive pan. We talked for 10 minutes and she cried. FML
Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML
Today, I was speaking to an old friend and I asked her how her mother was. She replied, "She passed away, you came to her funeral last month." FML
Today, I went to this coffee shop in town that has a fire pit outdoors with my boyfriend. I threw out the idea of sitting by the fire together, and he responded by telling me that his father and dog died in a house fire when he was young. FML
Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML
Today, my coworker left a tiny mess in the break room. I cleaned it up and jokingly said, "Your mother isn't here to clean up after you." She started crying. I forgot her mom died last week. FML
Today, I was texting a friend of mine. She mentioned it was her dad's birthday. I typed, "Tell him 'Happy Birthday' from me!" and as I pressed send, I remembered her dad was dead. FML
Today, I asked a coworker what she'd bought her dad for father's day. She said that she got him some flowers, and I laughed because I thought it was a rather feminine gift for a man. I later found out that the flowers were for his grave. FML
Today, I washed one of my roommates t-shirts. I forgot to remove it before putting it in the dryer, and all the print on the front melted off. It was a gift from his girlfriend. Who has just passed away. FML
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Top comments
theyellowgoose 3
highly inappropriate...but honestly that's funny. you should have kept it to yourself.
cuz803 46
Way to go, jerk. Death in the family and humor is a delicate mix. If you can't do it properly, shut your mouth before someone rightfully shuts it for you.
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Comments (10)
cuz803 46
Way to go, jerk. Death in the family and humor is a delicate mix. If you can't do it properly, shut your mouth before someone rightfully shuts it for you.
theyellowgoose 3
highly inappropriate...but honestly that's funny. you should have kept it to yourself.
rainbowdonnareed 18
I have autism and I know better
bleachedraven 14
It is funny, but yes should have not said that outloud!
BurnInDemonFire 39
If you're not enjoying the taste of your foot, I know somewhere you can get some tomato sauce to put on it. Or... Digging your own grave there, bud.
tc201002 11
For some reason my brain read that as she made the tomato sauce from scratch from her dad instead of for him lol
bleachedraven 14
oh my goodness lol
mccuish 25
He’s out of line, but that was honestly funny
dasin 18
if my death cant land some solid jokes like that then ive done something wrong
IHaveThePower 18
In some crowds that's just normal humor, but that was probably not said crowd... On the other hand if you tell most military people that kind of joke they laugh their butts off. (My brother's in the Army...he and I share jokes a lot...)