Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized I was late for work, so I rushed out of bed only to accidentally step onto my dog which then promptly bit my leg and now I'm in the ER. FML
Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML
Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML
Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML
Today, the family dog escaped and I ran after her. She started attacking a random dog, so I started clapping and yelling, trying to get her attention. After I got her away, my hands started swelling. I clapped my hands so hard that they're swollen and bruised. FML
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, my roommate whipped my face with a frozen chicken cutlet. My cheek is now the size of the chicken cutlet, and now he won't drive me to the hospital because it's "too funny to look at." FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
There's a shorter wait time at the vet.
Luqdude 0
Finger Lickin' Good...
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Comments (146)
iSketz 3
That would be awesome!
badactor009 0
Something like that happened to me. I was in my sugar daddy costume and a pack of wild gold diggers assaulted me for hours. I also required medical attention.
ilove80smetal 8
Listen closely to the nurses, their arranging for you to be transferred to a looney bin. Or to fight Peter griffin again.
unmagickalhippie 10
Sucks about the dog bite. Though I do think you probably could of changed before going to the hospital. Use this to your advantage be a zombie chicken. Way cooler than a regular one.
Red_Phoenix 7
I like that your in pain but still can write this
5t3ff1k4h 47
Can you still do things when you're in pain? Yeah? Hmm. Strange concept, isn't it?
merimar3 4
was the dog's name Brian?!
brittanyac94 5
hahahahahaha
Sipukad 8
LOL :D