Today, while at the beach, my little brother's hat blew off. I chased after it before I completely lost sight and realized I was no match for the wind. I get back and he's wearing the hat. I chased a fucking trash bag for a mile thinking it was his hat. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went off-roading with a group of people. I'd been to wearing a $250 hat while my brother was driving at least 60mph in the dirt, it flew off my head. When I returned to go retrieve it, someone had taken it. FML
Today, I went to a baseball game. It was windy, so I decided to get my hat from the car trunk. When I opened it and reached in, loose papers started flying everywhere. Panicked, my dad slammed the trunk shut on my fingers. Entering the stadium, I discovered it was free hat day. FML
Today, I lost a glove while snowboarding. I got off my board to find it, when a bunch of kids took the opportunity to kick my snowboard down the hill, while yelling "Run, Forrest, run!" as I frantically chased after it. FML
Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML
Today, I bought a replacement ID after weeks looking for my old one and not finding it. When I got home, my brother said he'd found my ID. FML
Today, I found my missing shoe. It hit me as it fell out the tree in our front yard. FML
Today, while at a local river, I had been pulled underwater by a very fast and strong current. While fighting for my life, I had let go of my sandals so I could pull myself up. After explaining to my mom what had happened to me, her response was "YOU LOST YOUR SANDALS!?" FML
Today, I thought it'd be funny to give my younger brother a wedgie. I found the thong I thought I'd lost. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when I tripped on the leash, dropping his treat bag. He snatched one, looked at me, and ran full speed in the opposite direction. I had to chase him for three blocks, yelling his name. He thought it was a new game. FML
Today, when I went to pick my kid up from daycare, I found out that he had run away. The rest of my afternoon consisted of me screaming his name, looking for him. I then returned to the daycare center. He thought it would be funny if he hid in the trash. FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
Save the Earth.
mea_iloveskiing 26
Something is wrong with the OP's eyes :)
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Comments (124)
mea_iloveskiing 26
Something is wrong with the OP's eyes :)
popkorn09 0
WILSON!!!!!
rottentomatoes 7
Who chases a hat for that long?
indielove 13
At least you were trying to help! even though I don't get how you mistook a trashbag for a hat.
enonymous 9
I'm sure if you thought it was a cupcake you'd have caught it OP
i_iz_awesome 0
I thought op said it blew off his brothers head? Wth was it doing there in the first place??
tmmundy 17
#5...you made me lol ?
tmmundy 17
although, I didn't put a "?" after my comment, grrrr
tmmundy 17
I would have done the same thing for my girls OP, if I thought it was their hat. We look out for the ones we love and sometimes we make ourselves look silly,lol, but at least we can run after hats at the beach. =)
white16sox 19
No joke, I moderated this.
dre_bro11 12
58, OMG, are you serious? My life is complete knowing that you modded this FML.
bitchslapped22 14
At least you got your excersice
gojira666 7
45....u iz retarded
Jiplo 18
8- a mile of jogging can take as little as 7 minutes for someone who's in shape and is athletic enough, so it's not too much time of your day
Freeze_fml 17
Save the Earth.
popkorn09 0
How do you mistake a trashbag for a hat?
StoryOfTheYear 15
Same color, size, etc. Multiple reasons.
rexgar2000 10
not that's nit the reasons... no excuse for making a mistake like that. you cam tell by the way the bag is moving in the air that is not a hat.
Jaxx66 21
Or the hat is that ugly. :P
whoisthisgirl 4
Well when I was younger I mistaken a stump for a squirrel.. Also a trash bag on a tree as my black cat, and multiple other stumps as deer... Yeah I needed glasses :)
Bekeliyr 10
Even if there was a possibility that she could have mistaken it for a hat, she would've seen the hat flown back somewhere to where her brother could get it. Unless a trashbag and a hat magically was blowing in the same direction at the same time. Since a hat has more air resistance, I'm pretty sure it won't blow a hat that far like a trashbag. And before I finish, why did she run a mile before she gives up and why can't the brother run for it himself? Just saying!
Geneside 8
OP is most likely a leader of a green planet cult
Cashtangoteam 10
But it builds character
renaee 13
I meant to thumb up. Sorry.
perdix 31
You probably needed the exercise, fattie. I'll bet the lifeguards were signalling in semaphore that a beaching was imminent.
perdix 31
Heh-heh, but at least I had a sexy vet checking out my blowhole. Good times! I have mixed feelings about losing weight -- being the ultimate prize for that demographic known as "plumpa humpas" had its high points, but being able to watch myself receive a ******* without mirrors, winches and scaffolding is even nicer ;)
laceyanneman 7
I immensely dislike people like you.
StoryOfTheYear 15
20- You tell 'em.
iwatchutube 0
Hey, guess what? **** you
perdix 31
#20, Why, you don't look very fat? I think you mean "intensely," not "immensely." Oops, now you have a reason to dislike me. So much for my efforts at diplomacy.
Gargoyle123 2
Actually #55 number #20 was correct with her usage of the word immensely: 1. Extremely 2. Of boundless or immeasurable size or extent. as opposed to, Intensenly: Possessing or displaying a distinctive feature to an extreme degree.
perdix 31
#57, the use of immensely may not be wrong, but it's poor usage. Immense is usually used with something measurable, like size, wealth, etc. In her pic, #20 doesn't look like a fattie, so I don't know why she's running to their defense. Maybe there are some immense folks amongst her friend and family. In any case, I don't know why I get the hate. The image of a fat girl running down the beach with the **** and ass and fat rolls and chins flopping all over the place is just like smile-producing sunshine!
laceyanneman 7
No I just dislike douche bags
PopRocks14 0
Perdix is Jesus
i75thairborne 0
78- I was hoping you would say that.
gmc_blossom 21
78- If you hate douche-bags, you probably are really dirty and gross down below. You should stop hating, and start cleaning. You may start attracting flies soon, and they'll be your only friends. When I think of the word "immensely" I think of big objects as well. Yes, perdix. Smile-producing sunshine all over..and by all over..I mean it.
laceyanneman 7
Aww man I'm really upset now. A 16 year old girl from Michigan made no sense at all.
anongrl 2
Either you need your eyes checked or he has a really big hat.
nick347b 6
Who DOESN'T chase random trash bags when they go to the beach?
TheTerenity 9
I don't, but now I have a mission...
HeyImJuli 3
I feel like I've been challenged >:)
RA661 8
But, a bag and a hat... I see no resemblance.
FMLephant 2
The most beautiful thing you've ever seen?
Enslaved 38
Yes, I video taped it just so I could watch it dance while I smoke weed. *cries* *I know what you're talking about.(:
nativepimp 1
I see what you've done there *smiles*