Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter announced that she's pregnant. I'm going to be a 37 year-old grandmother. FML
Today, it was my birthday and I have no children. My father bluntly says, "Well, I guess if I get any grand-babies out of you now, they will have Down's Syndrome." I just turned 30. FML
Today, I was talking with my Grandma, who lives on the opposite side of the state, and congratulated her on reaching 87. She said she was hoping to reach 90. My brain went in a very morbid direction as I quietly wondered if she'd live to 90. She didn't hear it but my dad, her son, did. Apologizing didn't help. FML
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML
Today, my daughter announced on Facebook that she is directly descended from extra-terrestrials. That would be okay - except she's 25 and believes it's true. FML
Today, on my first day at a new job, my boss asked how old I was. I replied, "Eighteen." She responded that she was my age thirty years ago, which makes her the same age as my mum. When I told her, she gave me a puzzled look, so I repeated myself. She was my age thirteen years ago, not thirty. FML
Today, my nineteen year-old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said, "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML
Today, I'd always thought my sister was an idiot for having her kids in her teens and early 20s before she was ready. Thing is, she’s now in her early 30s, her kids are grown, and she’s loving life. I had my kids in my 30s. By the time they’re grown, I’ll be old and broken down. FML
Today, my husband's daughter told us that she's 5 months pregnant. I'm going to be a step grandmother and I'm only 23 years old. FML
Today, my daughter told me she “doesn’t ever see herself getting in a relationship” and “dating just isn’t for her.” She’s 30 and has never been with anyone. FML
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Top comments
michelleJ11 25
Did you ask her the explain this logic? I want to know her secret & live until the year 3000. You never know OP, she could be the next Albert Einstein.
soccerstar1996 18
What if OP's daughter created a time machine and plans on traveling to the year 3000 when she turns 30? And she can bring all of their technology and solutions to our time and creates a paradox where our past is more advanced than their future and therefore creates a cycle where the future's ultra advanced technology comes to our time and makes the future even more advanced? BOOM MINDFUCK
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Comments (211)
perdix 31
Luckily, she's so stupid, you could give her a thousand bucks for a 97% discount;)
fax160 13
Wut
m7md1986 7
seem she doesnt go to school -.-
alshygirl 14
It seemS you don't either.
BrookRae 19
He didn't spell the word wrong, he simply just missed one letter.
gandhislayer 6
Or he completely butchered the sentence grammatically.
BrookRae 19
Well they capitalized the word S so I assumed they were only correcting that.
MzZombicidal 36
S is a word?
michelleJ11 25
107, he didn't spell the word wrong, he just used the wrong word.
kdm_km1 19
Merica!!
kelseythompson 27
Shut up.
IHATEFMYLIFE 26
Ya think, duh! Lol
tangonaf 16
wow late 2000's what does that make her 4-6 years old ... you're being too harsh on her. YDI for lacking imagination
theboy13 13
Makes her about 13...
jeragonm 15
The girl is 12/13!!! Not 4-6! YouAreMyPrey is apparently on the same level of intelligence as OP's child is.
tangonaf 16
Sorry for being illiterate, English is my third language so I'm not very good at it.
Renitachi12 10
Late 2000, like, the end of the year 2000... Shes around 13 now
JasonUMN 15
You never know, maybe we will have found the fountain of youth by then.
CorpsmanUp88 21
reverse aging. thatll be something to look forward to.
BjgUsername 12
The "duh " really makes this FML awesome.
LittleGreenPaola 23
That's so true! The funny thing is that the first time I read this FML (moderating) there was no "duh". It didn't impress me much in fact
abeg157 14
If this said my son I would have known it was me mum. Good to know there's other kids who ****** up like that.
Olympiakos10 15
Google Translate isn't a reliable translator.
Altar_fml 2
That's actually possible. Have you heard of Alcor Life Extension?